Amara
I sat on the bed at my apartment stroking Bella as I stared up at the ceiling thinking about well...everything. I had finished the last shift at the bakery and am supposed to be packing more clothing to bring back to the clubhouse. Pepper gave me an hour as he had a family call to pay attention to so he is waiting outside the building. Ryker hasn't told me what's going on, anytime he does he gets agitated and just kisses me so I have just assumed that the M8s have kept talking about how they want to kill me. That he doesn't know what the plan is from the club so he is trying not to say that either.
My heart clenched thinking about the situation the club currently is in, particularly because I know I am bringing more heat on them with their relationship with the M8s. Plus, I do know that some brothers didn't want me there and I couldn't blame them. When I first came in I felt welcome now I am not sure where I stand. Apparently, the last fight they had against an enemy of the club, they lost a couple of good men, now they want to be sure that doesn't happen.
So... here I am sitting on my bed while Ryker goes off and figures out how to take them down. I have no idea how to help but I want to since they are in trouble because of me. How can I just sit back while they run around trying to make sure no one starts shooting at them before they are ready?
Yet at the same time, and I know this is horrible, but I would rather be in the eye of the storm waiting for it to hit than running. I ran for so long I forgot how to live, how to be me and yeah things are going to get ugly soon but I am back to being me. I was Amara and I have Ryker now so if I die, I die being me and not a fake name living in shadows. Maybe that's selfish with my previous thoughts of how the club is endangered. But I did try to leave but Ryker made me stay. They are brothers, even with them split. If Ryker wants me to stay so do they.
Right?
I let out a sigh. Would Ryker be interested in me after all this is over though? He isn't Hamlet with adrenalin addiction but he likes action, and I sure do give him action. He said he loved me but doubt is the best friend of anxiety. A single whisper sets my brain into overdrive that once this over he may not want a simple life with me.
Shut up anxiety. I love Ryker as he loves me. Why else did he spend six months working every angle just so that I would talk to me. No need to go around in circles with these thoughts. The Riders hate the M8s for coming on their territory, they will go after them then I go back to court to keep those M8s from getting out of jail. Easy.
Fuck what would Dad think? We were so close and he died from an MC. How would he feel that I could suffer the same fate with the M8's and am in love with a member from a different MC. Maybe he would be okay with it. My life in Portland was nothing like this. Then again, I was in high school before I left... though Ryker was in high school when he was with the Riders... Either way, never would my good girl brain think she would be with a MC member. I didn't even date then either.
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On Edge (Riders of Silence MC 2)
Romance"Choose. Her or the club." Briac demanded thrusting the gun in my hand as I looked back at her. The Riders are my family but she is the love of my life. How can I kill the one who owns my heart but how can I betray my club? Amara's father was an und...