Gone

Prologue

*Alex*

"How could this happen?" I whisper to myself as I sit alone on the abandoned dock. I've finally begun to accept the reality of things. She was really gone.

My eyes begin to water as I think about how I will never see her again. I'll never see her beautiful smile, her eyes sparkling in the sun, or how they get smaller when she laughs or smiles. Her laugh. It could light up a room and turn any bad day into a good one. God she was so beautiful, and i'll never get the chance to tell her again. I'll never get to tell her how much I love her, or get to hold her hand in mine. Her hands were always so cold, but she was warm. She made me feel warm inside.

I take a deep breath and then let the air slowly leave my lungs. I take another breath but it's shaky this time. I hadn't even noticed tears were falling from my eyes. It was almost a everyday thing for me now.
Every time I thought about her I would cry or try my best to hold it in. Everything reminded me of her.

When a little kid says their favorite color is red I remember the first time we met and she told me her favorite color was red. When I eat pizza I remember how she could never get enough of it. When I touch something soft it reminds me of her soft brown hair and when I would run my hands through it. Every time I see her mom I think of her smile, she got it from her mom. When I see babies I think about how I wanted to have kids with her.

For the longest time I refused to believe I could continue my life without her, that I could ever be happy without her, with someone else. However, I am finally beginning to accept it. She's really gone. And there's nothing I can do about it. No one can do anything about it.

I wipe my eyes with the sleeve of my sweater. A sweater she bought for me. All my sweaters used to smell like her. She would come into my room and take whichever one she wanted and keep it for a few days until she wanted a new one. I didn't mind. She looked really cute in them and when she gave them back they smelled just like her.

I've forgotten what she smells like, even what she feels like. What I would give just to see her one last time. To be able to give her a proper goodbye, knowing it would be the last time I would ever see her.

More tears fall from my eyes and I begin quietly sobbing, very grateful that no one else is around. I just want to hold her one last time.

After some time I hear a familiar voice call, "Alex?" I turn around and see Danny standing a few feet away from me.

I haven't seen him in months. It became too much being around him. He knew her far longer than I did and a lot of the things he does remind me of her. Their sense of humor is exactly the same. They enjoyed doing the same things. I guess in a way her sense of humor rubbed off on me too in the years I knew her, but it was different with him.

He walks closer to me and sits beside me on the dock, both of our legs swinging over the edge.

"Your dad came by my house," he started saying as he looked out into the ocean, "he said he heard you drive off and was worried about you cause you were gone for a while and weren't answering his calls. I figured you might be here."

I look down at my phone, pressing the home button, and the time reads 3:27 a.m. I have 48 missed calls from my dad. I look back out to the water without replying to him.

He lets out a sigh before speaking again, "I miss her too you know. She was my best friend."

I take a few breaths before finally speaking to him, "I miss her so much." I say with a crack in my voice as the tears begin falling once again.

He stares at me for a second, probably unsure about what to do. I don't let many people see me like this. He finally puts his arms around me, hugging me, and letting me cry on him. Normally I would probably  think this to be awkward, but right now I wasn't really concerned with that.