The Soup of Life :)

Guilt

I feel terrible.

My dad is sick (not really) so he couldn't do much around the house. That's his saying.

Today my mom had a night shift at the hospital, so I was in charge of bathing my brother. He turned 2 in August.

Now, after I bathed him I had to change him into his pyjamas. I had to put it on slowly, but my dad said to do it faster. Picture it like this: my dad comfortably lying down on the sofa, playing fifa using xbox one, and me, concentrating to change a toddler.

And we all know about the terrible twos. They would throw tantrums occasionally, run around, and sometimes turn our lives upside down. Unfortunately, my dad couldn't keep his cool. He took it way too far.

My brother began crying because of my dad scolding him. He wailed a lot, until my dad basically smacked his back about 10 times. I already put on his shirt, so I tryed to calm him down.

He vomitted on me. I think it was because of dad. And let me tell you, he was pissed off. I raced to the toilet. My brother was still crying and it made my heart shatter. It always happens when my mom wasn't around. Its like dad uses me and my siblings as punchbags.

He called me a whore and told me to go shower. He even had a chance to smack my brother's back after he vomitted again. I was already trying to find my phone, but it was downstairs, so I had no choice but to shower first.
No... Im not calling the police but I wanted to text my mom.

After I showered, I helped with the food. I needed to cook the rice and heat the dishes in a microwave. I thought that my dad had calmned down, but after I set the table out something suddenly accured. Basically my brother started crying again and was again smacked a few times. My dad had enough and decided to put him in a room without lighting, slamming the door shut.

I felt guilty for not doing anything then. He said to leave him and start eating. Thank god he got my brother out of the room. He had so much red marks on his arm. He whispered to me that it was my fault for causing the red marks on his arms. I didn't mean it.

At that point, I now officially hate my dad. He's been doing this many times and I think this was it. No more turning back. I hate him. He doesn't even apologise, he doesn't listen and always forcing us to become like him.

How did my mom even have thought of marrying him? Okay... now I think I just crossed the line. Sorryy....😔😢