As a child Can was lost in the fog. As an adult he has travelled the world on his boat and his fears now consist of losing Sanem, the sun to his moon. Combine these two fears and Can Divits nightmares become known...
I've previously written about Sanem and Cans dreams and what usually happens when they end up sharing a bed...
I've even written about Sanem's Nightmares which stem from her childhood fear of Thunderstorms.
I began to Wonder.... WHAT GIVES CAN DIVIT NIGHTMARES?
If you've been following my stories you'll also know that I believe Can thinks of Sanem as the SUN to his MOON...
A Solar Eclipse is when the Sun is covered over by the Moon and the Day suddenly becomes Night...An eerie and un-nerving phenomenon.
CANS POV:
After Leylas open mic night, we've ended up at Sanems parents house. I've been drinking so it was easier to stay in the city and get a taxi back to here. Mevkibe and Nihat are on a weekend away and I've been offered the couch for the night.
The house is quiet... Leyla and Emre are in their room and after sorting me out with something to sleep in and some bedding and even after some pretty intense longing looks at each other, Sanem has also gone up to bed, alone.
I puff out my cheeks and blow out air. I'm so frustrated. Sanem and I have so far managed to become closer but I still feel like I'm hitting a brick wall....and now as usual... I'm unable to relax and fall asleep.
I don't remember exactly when 'sleep' became such an issue for me... But certainly the night my mother left our family house and took Emre with her AND the night I got lost in the fog as a child are two incidents which left me traumatised and I slowly became disconnected from the words, Home and Security.
I was unable to sleep in unfamiliar houses and with unfamiliar people and the feeling of 4 walls surrounding me left me gasping for air and a desperate need to be outside breathing in big gulps to soothe myself, while looking up at the moon and the stars, wishing I was soaring into that vast open space of sky.
In my teens, I began sleeping outside during the summer months and camping, building fires, away from people, in remote places.
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Once I became sexually active, the thought of being held or having to cuddle a woman ALL night made me feel uncomfortable and Claustrophobic.
Sleeping next to someone was like giving them part of yourself... Opening yourself to them... I never wanted any woman to see my vulnerability.
Needless to say, my getting up to leave straight after sex was never very popular and after numerous arguments, I gave up trying to have conventional relationships.
By the time I had begun to travel and started taking photographs in unusually remote and un- touristy places and had found my spirit animal, the Albatross in Galapagos, I thought of myself as a strong, wild, independent, forever alone, Wanderer.
