Undertow by K.R. Conway (1st book in trilogy)

Chapter 14

I was stunned. Raef was immune? To ME?His hand dropped away from my face as I stepped towards him. "Elizabeth did something to you both," I breathed, amazed. "She made you... human?"

"No, not human, but a chance to be close. There is no cure for what we are. And understand that we still, on a very basic level, retain all the violence and cruelty that is the hallmark of our kind. We chose to fight that portion of who we are and it is a daily battle." Raef's face looked frightened, not for himself, but for me. He stepped back toward the edge of the tree.

As much as he had explained, there was still one major question that remained unanswered. "If you are Mortis and I am Lunaterra . . . Answer me, Raef. Why are you and Kian protecting me?"

"At the beginning of the summer Kian bumped into me again in Miami. We got talking and he mentioned he was bringing his yacht up to the Cape to possibly sell it. He asked if I wanted to help him crew the boat. I agreed as I hadn't been back to the Cape in decades."

"Once here, I found out that 408 was once again owned by a Walker. I convinced Kian that we should check out who owned the house. But you hadn't arrived permanently yet and the locals started giving us the fish-eye, so we built the whole wealthy-brothers-dead-parents thing. When you finally returned, I saw you, up in your bedroom one night. I realized you were in high school and I figured I needed to find out more about you and, well, keep an eye on you. If necessary."

"It was you, wasn't it?" I asked, realizing that Raef was the one outside my window. I didn't have some creepy stalker. I had Raef.

"I've been watching the house most nights. If I am not there, Kian sits guard. I was worried you may have recognized me that night. I was surprised you were awake so late. Did you have a nightmare?" he asked.

I nodded as Raef stepped towards me. "Eila - I did not help Elizabeth the night she died and I owe it to her to protect you now.  I will not fail her again."

It hit me then, like a bullet to the chest.

I was not loved by this beautiful, imperfect boy. To him, I was nothing more than a chance at redemption. Nothing more than a way to ease the guilt.

My chest tightened and I was waging a desperate battle with my face, trying to control the pain that ran me through like a hot sword. I could feel the burn of my throat constricting and I knew I was losing the battle.

I slipped around the backside of the gnarled trunk where he couldn't see my face and I wanted to gasp for air. I had been such a silly fool. To believe a boy like Raef could ever fall for a girl like me. I shook my head, mentally chastising myself.

All the time together, his concern for my safety, it was all just part of his self-assigned guard duty. I shut my eyes to block the tears from escaping, and dragged in a slow, hot breath. I pulled with all my might to halt the pain in my heart, but even with my eyes closed, I could sense that he was now standing in front of me.

"Eila?" he asked quietly.

I thought about all the time we had together and how gentle and caring he always was. I erroneously believed I had understood his behavior and had picked the right option from choices I understood. I never dreamed his actions were derived from a fourth option.

I managed to clear my throat and speak without hitching my voice. "It is just . . . a lot to take in. You are my bodyguard then?"

The silence was torture. My skin tingled and I knew he was very close to me now, probably inches.

"Yes. I'm trying to be," he said quietly. I felt his warm hand carefully cradle my chin, and he lifted my face. His touch sent heat over my neck, spreading out from his fingers. I could hear him sigh and I finally opened my eyes, a tear fleeing down the curve of my cheek.