I guess I've always been nostalgic. It's just something I've always been, nostalgic. And I guess I miss us, I miss my old friends and the times we spent together. But, if I were given a chance to go back before it happened; before we realized that our personalities didn't quiet go well together, before I realized how toxic we were to each other, I would say...
No. I wouldn't.
Strange, how it seems like the people closest to you can become faint wisps of a fleeting memory. I often wonder, in ten, twenty years, will we look back and say, "Yes, I remember them. I remember the walks in the summer and the movies in the winter. I remember how close we were, and the things we shared together." Would we really say that then? Would we tell our children of our time spent together.
I'm not saying those years were wasted. In fact, we learned more in those years than anything else. We learned to trust, we learned what friends were good and which ones mistook the word 'friend' for 'target'. We made memories, and those memories were good.
I miss us. I really do. But with time, I've realized which ones I would keep and which ones I would hold at an arm's length. The ones who truly care, the ones who would drop everything to help you, those are the ones you want to keep in your life.
It's been a year, and we see each other in the hallway. The pain of then has dulled to an ache, and when we meet each other's eyes we say, "Yes, we were friends. We aren't now and that is okay because we made memories while they lasted." And we will see each other, years from now and laugh about the stories we wrote and love we shared. Then we'll be on our ways, because years later we still haven't changed.
We are, you are, still kids. We are constantly changing, and change brings about hard things. Loosing us was rough, but we've grown and we learned. A friend is someone who will stand for each other, and we've learned that.
When you are reading it, whether you knew our story or not, know that we were friends. And some of us still are, some are building bridges back, and some of us are still trying to burn them. Know that we are still living and breathing the same air, but we are gone. This account is gone.
As for me? Well, I've grown and now know what and who I want in my life. I'm still friends with most of them. I won't pass up a chance to smile at them, and ask them about their life. I keep most close, and some I only offer a small smile because even though I've forgiven, I haven't forgotten..
If you read our work, thank you. But we've gone and we've grown, leaving behind the strings of untold stories and walking forwards towards adulthood. We had a good time, and know that you should always treasure what you have, even if it's only for a fleeting moment.
