Someone you used to know | Bensler

03.

03.

03.

Olivia couldn't sleep much all night. She had so much she wanted to tell him but couldn't help the anger that took over. How could he do this to her? How could he act like she was nothing and just walk away? She pulled the covers up and turned over to look at the clock. 3:16AM. She sighed and closed her eyes as tears fell. As much as he hurt her she could not forget the 12 years they spent together. 

She must of fallen asleep as she awoke to her alarm going off. She got up to shower and started having regrets about meeting Elliott. He couldn't just walk back into her life. She did not want to allow it. Anger was starting to take over and she kicking herself for the tears that were falling down her face. She hated how she cried when she was angry. She did not want to appear weak. 

O: Maybe we should do this another time..

E: Liv pls give me a chance. If u dont like what i have to say u can leave at any time. Give me 5 mins 

Maybe he had a point. She put her phone down and went to shower before Noah woke up. 

E: will u come?

E: Liv?

E: Olivia? pls

Olivia spent twenty minutes in the shower, pondering what she wanted to do. She missed him but needed to stay strong for Noah. She could not get hurt like she was before. Noah needed all her attention and love. One coffee, five minutes. What could that hurt? As she stepped out of the shower she heard her phone ringing. 

It was Elliot. 

"Benson"

"Liv, what the hell? Why are you ignoring my texts?" He sounded concerned but was trying not to show it. 

"I was in the shower Elliot. Not that its any of your business." she huffed and she started to get dressed. 

"So you are naked right now?" he laughed hoping it would make her smile. 

"Elliot stop. I will see you at 8 for coffee." She was not giving in to his flirtatious tone that always made her feel so comfortable. She could not fall back into that pattern so easily. She heard Noah crying and snapped out of her thoughts. 

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Olivia heard her door opening. It must be Lucy, she looked down at her watch; 7:55am. 

"Hey Lucy, thank you for coming a little earlier today. Noah will be excited to spend more time with you. I am running late, I have to head out now." 

"No problem, you know you can always call me Olivia. I love that little boy." Lucy said as she headed to get Noah from his room. 

Olivia headed out the door quickly. She had many mixed feelings. Anger. Butterflies. Anxiety. 

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She saw him sitting in what used to be "their" booth. She wanted to turn around and just walk out. Was she ready for this? She pulled herself together and walked over anyways. 

"Liv, you came. I got you a coffee like you used to order." He motioned the cup towards her as she sits down. 

"You have five minutes Stabler. Get to talking." She said as he brought her coffee to her lips. 

He was taken back by her calling him Stabler. She was serious and he had a lot to explain in a short amount of time. She looked beautiful. She was a mother now and it only made her more beautiful...and kind. 

"Liv, I'm sorry. I know I made mistakes. I should of called you sooner. I should of said goodbye but I couldn't face you. After shooting that girl I lost my mind. I went crazy. Kathy got tired of me coming home drunk those few days. We got into a fight and she told me to pick. The job or our family." Tears started to fall as he was visibly upset. "I got so angry at her and punched a hole in the wall. Eli saw me do it and I knew that I had to make a choice. I agreed to get help and Kathy wanted us to move away.  To put my papers in and start a new life somewhere else. She made me choose and I chose my family. I do not regret choosing my kids but I regret letting her control me into moving. I knew if I told you that you would not let me leave. I couldn't look you in the eyes and tell you that. I know how wrong that is. You deserved more. Im sorry Olivia." He moves his hands on top of hers. "I really am sorry. There wasn't a day that went by that I didn't think about you. I missed you."

She moved her hands away from his. She was still taking in everything he said. "Elliot you could of talked to me. I understand your family is first. I would of understood. I wouldn't of liked it but I wouldn't of lay awake so many sleepless nights playing through all the scenarios. I was your best friend Elliot." She was starting to raise her voice. " This was a bad idea. I'm glad your okay and that I don't have to worry about you being dead. Do me a favor and stay out of my life." She got up and stormed away. Tears falling from her eyes. Anger running through her body. She was upset but sort of felt guilty that she was punishing him for choosing his family. She could not face him, at least not right now. 

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Two weeks went by and Olivia was on edge almost everyday. She was holding a grudge. She knew she was wrong but her life had moved on. Her son needed her. She was a Lieutenant now and her work was stressful. She was just trying to move on and forgot about Elliot again. Even though that is something she could never do. 

After a long day of work, four glasses of wine later Olivia decided she should reach out but probably regret it later. 

12:21 AM- O: You awake?

E: I am, u ok?

O: I need more answers. Come over?

E: Sure send me ur new address.

She sent him her address wondering how he even knew that she had moved. She knew this was probably a bad idea. She was tipsy but knew she could trust him not to take advantage. He always was respectful. She appreciated that. She looked down at what she was wearing. A thin tank top and pajama shorts. She went to her closet changed into some legging and pulled out a hoodie. She zipped it up over her tank top and went back to the couch to finish another glass of wine. She smiled as she sat there. She missed him and was trying to get these emotions out before he showed up.