cant love

what he seems like.

God why the hell am i writing crap down again. I've been admiring this angel but i know i cant. He is out of my league i could never go for someone like him. Mabey i should just disappear..mabey i should- "Zak..? " i hear my name being called "shit... " it was my friend Chester. I hid my notebook quickly and revealed myself to him.  "yeah..? " i say softly "bro we gotta go your late again dumbass" Chester says in a annoyed tone "heh sorry" i say walking beside him to the meet up "so what are you gonna say to the group?" I say "i dont know probably causing sleep paralysis once again " Chester said jokingly "what about you..? " "ehh...  Thats a surprise" i say getting nervous. Every single meet up with the demons we have to say what we have accomplished i always say the same thing wich i find boring but today i think im gonna talk about my love for that one angel i hope it goes well...  Once me and Chester made it back to our base we had joind the circle "your late... " One of Satan's bitches said "heh sorry had to look for this idiot" Chester says in a confident tone.  "anyway what is your accomplishments for the day..? " the bitch said "well i helped cause a suicide. " Chester says with a smirk. I began to feel a sharp pain i was thinking about how to tell everyone i love an angel what the hell was i thinking Jesus.  "and you..? " My so called dad said "well i uhh i...  I found out that anyone can love.. " I say nervously "we dont love you know" the group said "yeah but what if i.. lets just say had feelings for someone other than one of us" "what the hell do you mean?" the bitchy one said in response "im saying that i like a well... Angel" i say softly. My pain grew stronger as satan herself stood up in front of me. I look up at her hesitantly. "you are a disgrace even in hell. " the Devil says slapping me.  I felt like crying but i held it back as the pain grew even stronger. Everyone was looking at me. I couldn't take it anymore so i well...  Ran i ran as far as i could from the group making sure no one followed.  I stop running after a while "hey the hell Zak.!?" I hear Chester yell "leave me alone... " "come on Zak what the fuck is wrong with you? " "I said leave me alone!" i than began running again even though the pain hurt badly.  The pain wasn't a normal cramp or some shit the pain felt like i would never ever find happiness i just felt emptiness. Chester probably got tired cause i didn't see him after some more running "what the hell is wrong with me?! " i say scratching myself.  I than began to cry i sat down and hugged my knees. That moment i knew i was better off not there after a while i got up and wiped my tears away.  I than thought mabey i should just hand myself in mabey i should plead for one of the angels to end my suffering. I than thought how stupid that idea was so i slowly walked towards the biggest cliff in hell i stood there looking down. "this is how I'll die huh.. " i say softly as i close my eyes "its not worth it you idiot.." i heard as i jumped off. I opend my eyes and tried to fly back up but i was weak. I saw somebody looking down at me as i just fell...