Feelings so strong

Ranting

Look this is how it is somedays I sit here,
And think what did I do to deserve you as a person,
Then the next minute I be thinking what did I do to deserve the disrespect and anger you show me.
You say I'm talking to someone when I'm doing the total opposite,
I'm talking about you not to someone else you have my full attention,
But I don't know why lately I feel as I don't have yours,
And you don't want mine.
No matter what I try to do to make u happy it always comes around to bite me in my ass. Then again I wonder why what did I do to deserve this.
You said you were here to ride this storm with me,
But all I feel is u drifting.
You rap,
But yet every time you rap you talk bout her shows me ur not over her,
If you think about her that much.
Just my POV if you talking about them it means they on ur mind,
And if that's the case it's an everyday thing. The fighting is getting old I do my best to prevent it.
But it's like it never works.
I do nothing but be honest with u n every time I turn around ur accusing me of lying.
It hurts,
But it seems like you don't even care about how you make me feel.
It's like fuck me,
Fuck how I feel,
Fuck making sure I'm okay.
Funny thing is you don't even ask me how I am,
Because if you did you would know I'm depressed,
And every time we argue I cry the arguing is sending me into a down hill spiral.
I'm tired of feeling like this,
I wish I could take the pain away.
But I can't even do that,
Because I can't bring myself to cause the people who love me the same pain. 
There's day I wish it would have been me that died that night.
I'm never good enough.
I should me used to that by now though it's been that way since I was born started with my parents,
And ever since then nobody stays for long they get what they want from me n leave.
It hurts so bad.
I'm sick of crying and hurting.
I'm sick of being told I'm leaving i can't do it.