My Thoughts

thought 7

How am I? It's been a year. A year. I spent 12 months trying to figure out what I did wrong. I spent 12 fucking months trying to understand how you could love me one day, and say you had absolutely no feelings for me the next. I spent my entire summer trying to get over you, thinking this school year I would be okay, and if I saw you occasionally I wouldn't care. But fuck that. I'm still not over you. And I don't think I ever will be. Because as much as I try to deny it, you were, and will always be my first love. But you were also my first true heartbreak. And every time I see you I'm filled with rage, anger and sadness. I'm enraged that you don't give me any acknowledgment. You pretend you don't even know me. And I am angry that you destroyed me like that and don't even care. And finally, I am sad. Sad that I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that you will truly never come back to me. Never like me. And never love me like you did. So after 12 months of constant torture, you come at me and say hey? NO. Don't talk to me. All you're gonna do is bring back more memories. And worse than memories? My fucking feelings that I had for you, so just stop talking to me before you add to the amount of emotional damage you've caused to my life.