Raising Jody

Josie

To everyone that's been waiting for me to update sorry its taken so long I been having writers block and busy with school. Then I realized there wasn't a lot to know about Josie so here it is and ill start updating soon. So this is basically going to Josie talking about herself and what she's been through.

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Life.

The condition that distinguishes animals and plants from inorganic matter, including the capacity of growth, reproduction, functional activity, and continual change preceding death. It separates plants and animals from things such as water and rocks. The number one thing people take advantage of.

My parents and brothers life was taken away and the pain was unbearable.

Life has knocked me down a few times it showed me things I never wanted to see. I experienced sadness and failures.

Before my moms life had been taken away she would tell every time she could "seize the day. Because believe it or not each and every one of us one day going to stop breathing, turn cold and die. That was the cold truth and even today I hate knowing its true.

'Don't take life to seriously no one ever comes out alive anyway" is something my dad would always say and which is tattooed around my wrist.

They didn't deserve to die but unfortunately life doesn't seem to give a damn about what we want.

Love

A four letter word that can be used way too much and never be acted upon. Love is just a jackass emotion given to much praise in this world. Love will inevitably fuck you up, and that's the end of it. That's my opinion on it anyway. When Jody was diagnosed at first I was struggling to pay for her medical bills so I found my self a boyfriend. He was nice and I hate to admit it but i fell in love with the ass hole. He was handsome and he helped me pay for Jody's bills. But then he learned my secrets, scars, flaws then gave me bruises and then he left. My scars are fading and i feel lost without them. One day I'll heal but I'll be covered in them.

Lonely/alone

My social teacher once told me " human beings are the most selfish of all. Even when someone dies, you shed tears only because they are no longer around to provide you with whatever they had been for so long ". I don't really know where I stand in peoples life ..... one minute that treat me like I'm someone special then nothing the next. I always distance myself when people become close to me. I keep pushing people away when all I want is them to be there for me. When I'm alone, I think. When I think, I remember. When I remember, I feel pain. When I feel pain, I cut. When I cut, I can't stop. I've been alone surrounded by darkness I've seen how heartless the world can be.

Fine

F: falling
I: insecure
N: not good enough
E: empty

God I hate this word but I use of too much myself. Everybody is always so fucking "fine". But we are not. Sometimes we are hurt and bruised and nearly completely shattered. And this is not what one calls fine.

I push people away because I'm afraid they'll hurt me and I've been hurt enough. By pushing them away I hurt them and sometimes me. No matter how hard I try, i can't stop its what I do.

In the end, everyone is going to leave me. They always do.