my f o o l i s h hearts turns at the S T A R S | Momojirou

kyoka

I enjoy watching Freshman at orientation. All of these poor Teens not realizing what the actual fuck they've signed up for. Sad children who have never been in the real world before, leaving their parents for the first time in their life. 

To say that I find other people's suffering highly amusing is an understatement. 

So that's why I let shit for brains ™ rope me into being a group leader for orientation this year. 

"Who the actual hell is shit for brains ™, Jirou?" you are probably asking yourself at this very second. Shit for brains™ is Denki Kaminari, a butt-cheek that went to High School with me. He's a bubbly, blonde, 20-year-old who acts like a 14-year-old. Denki is annoying as all hell, but he's my friend so... I guess I have to say something neutral about him. He's a Video Game Design Major, Video Production Minor with an F grade average. I seriously don't know how he made it past 2nd Grade.

  While I'm breaking the fourth wall, I'm just going to tell everyone a little about my self.

Fact 1: I'm a Language Major, Criminal Justice Minor.

" But Kyoka! Every other word you say is a bad word! How could YOU possibly be a Language Major! "

I can answer that question with one simple, easy to understand, sentence.

Why the hell do you care bitch! 

... That was a rhetorical question don't answer it.

Fact 2: No, I'm not depressed. 

Plus, If I were depressed... Why in the frick fracking heavens would I tell you?

Fact 3: Contrary to popular belief, I don't hate people.

I hate assholes. Not all people

... Ok, so I dislike social situations. Whatcha gonna do about it. 

Fact 4: I'm an adult. I can live off Pumpkin Spice lattes, Instant Ramen, and Ben and Jerry's if I want to.

Fact 5: I don't five facts about myself because I'm fucking boring. So I'm just going to stop breaking the fourth wall

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The day before orientation, I was helping all of the peppy, blonde, administration officers, set up the campus for the big Week. To be frank, I just went to get my group assignments so I could plan. Plus they had snacks. And you bet your ass I stole snacks as many as possible to bring back to my dorm. 

I was helping Professor Mic, an Arts Professor, set up the sign-in booth, when I noticed shit for brains ™, walk into the room.

" Hey, Kyoka!, " he yelled. I ignored him and kept working. The sooner I can get my assignments and leave the better.

Denki seemed to notice this, and the little fuck decided to make a game out of it. 

From across the room, I see him pull out his Cell Phone. At the moment I stopped death glaring him and went back to work, my phone buzzed

Denki:

Guys, get to the campus directory office rn. 

Bakugou: 

Why should I shit head

Denki:

Cuz... I wanna annoy Jirou cuz she won't pay attention to me

Mina:

Ooh! I'm always up for annoying Kyoka! I'll be right there. I'm not too far away

Sero:

Sure, bro, I'm coming

Bakugou: 

Count me out dick heads, I gotta help my mom pack the house. Ya know, CUZ I ALREADY TOLD YOU, SHITTERS, I COULDN'T DO ANYTHING TODAY DAMMIT.

Denki:

Oh yeah lololol, forgot that your mom is moving. Sorry, bro.

Kirishima:

I'm helping Bakugou pack so... Can't rn

Is this really necessary guys? 

Mina:

Yep, sure is 

I hate you all

I didn't think that they'd actually show up. But 15 minutes later I had 3 crackheads screaming at me.

Actually, knowing Mina and Sero, I should have expected it. 

Most of my friends are idiots with some college credits. Similarly to Denki, I don't know how either of them made it into College.

I finally got my list. Like I expected, I didn't recognize any of the names

Mei Hatsume

Izuku Midoryia

Shinsou Hitoshi

Tamaki Amajiki

Momo Yaoyarozu

Next to each person's name, there was a Phone Number. I decided to make a group chat with our group

Hello Everyone. I'm Kyoka Jiro, and I'll be your group leader for orientation. Our meeting place tomorrow will be at the All Might memorial statue. Please bring everything you'll need because you won't be going back to your dorms for a few hours.

Momo Yaoyarozu

Hello! I have a few questions for you! will I be able to ask them tomorrow?

Yeah, you will 

Momo Yaoyarozu

Ok!

Nobody else