Life has changed.

Life is a little different now

When people walked by with their lovers it made me feel a little lonely inside. Life has changed, my dear friend. Life has changed, my past lover. Life has indeed changed, now that you are no longer here when I need you. There were so many things that consistently reminded me of you, although you are no longer around in school. The canteen.It was the bench we sat at two months before our national examinations. I remember the days when we were trying to cram information into our brains. Day after day, staying in school till the security guards and teachers would have to chase us out of those gates.Those memories make my heart full. This year, things changed. Your birthday greetings from me to you never seemed like it mattered. The cold shoulder you gave, I had no choice but to tell you that you have changed. Have you moved on? was a question that lingered in my head.The friends you made at your new school, they seem great. I would always recall how terrified you were being separated from the clique. Noting it down so that, if you happen to read this. That is if you get interested in reading books, you would have something to smile about your funny self. Not too long ago, I turned around, not being able to understand a complex concept in mathematics class. I was just hoping, maybe one day, just one day, a miracle would happen and you would magically appear. I hoped that I would see a finger snap right in front of my eyes, and a voice asking if I am alright if I understood everything that has been taught. The you that used to sit at the centre of the last row, centre column was no longer there. That magic trick will never happen. I ought to realise that. Since it seemed like yesterday where you were trying to impress our classmates with a card trick you knew. Magic was your hobby and I would never forget that.This year, things changed. Life is a little different now.Days when I feet tired and stressed, I no longer take an hour to have a chat with the one who I used to love. I often find myself locked in the room, sobbing my heart out to my pillow. Days when I felt anxious, especially before a school examination, texts to the one whom I love became non-existent.Days when I felt like I needed a listening ear, I kept everything in. Life has changed. I have become a stronger person. Just like how you wanted me to be when you left me. It came to a point where you seemed to be tired of my unsettled feelings, my anxieties and worries. It became more evident when I recently texted you, over something that was bothering me lately; you replied with a sigh.Thank you for replying, I was glad I could share my last unsettled thought with you. Life changed.Tremendously.Friends?Some left, some stayed. Some started their love chapters, some ended. Others wished to focus on future endeavours. As for those who left we naturally grew more distant. Old friends are replaced by new ones. Personal stories will be shared amongst more people; friendships and loyalty start to be built. Smiles are painted on faces all over again. A new journey begins. Anxiety? Anxiety attacks come and go. They are not always in control. And as they come from time to time, staying suffocated and feeling a shortness of breath stays for a shorter time now. It is about time I overcome it on my own. The bag of the burden that often carried around, the whole of last year, was neatened. The unwanted burden was recycled. The remaining burden was folded nicely and placed into a pouch of joy. Although the pouches have been accumulating again, the backpack that I carry around feels lighter and a little more durable. Love? I suppose love will come when it wants to.When it needs to. Loving someone takes loads of commitment, dedication, patience. But if I had a thing or two to say about love, it would be that love should at all-cause allow you to be you. Love unconditionally. When you are feeling upset, know that you have a shoulder to lean on. When you are nervous and anxious, know that you have a hand to hold. When you are cold, know that you have someone to welcome you for a hug to seek warmth. When you are frustrated, know that you have a listening ear. When you need to cry, know that someone will always shelter your tears. The boy that was my best friend, and become one that I learned to love? He would never be forgotten. He will stay in my memories, and feelings will fade. I was appreciative of everything he did. I am glad we met, I am glad we managed to hear each others' stories. Life changes. People come, people go. Each and every person will experience different things, walk roads of different pathways. Nothing will ever be the same. Good days will vary. Some days feel like death, other days feel rather ordinary. One thing that will never change, is that life goes on. Whether you are experiencing heartache, a stressful period in your life. Life will continue.