Jimmy Page x Jack Daniels Bottle

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Jimmy and Robert have been arguing a lot recently. Marriage has been tough for them.

"What's your problem?" Robert snapped at Jimmy from across the room

"What? I didn't do anything this time" Jimmy defended himself

Robert scoffed

"You've been avoiding me a whole lot lately, JimJam. You sleeping with a 14 year old again?" Robert says

Jimmy got angry at the comment

"Ya know what Robbit? I'm outta here" Jimmy said, grabbing his unopened Jack Daniels bottle and then bolting out the front door.

He booked a hotel room and layed down sprawled out on the mattress.

"Robbit would never understand our relationship, Jack" Jimmy says to his Jack Daniels bottle

"......" the bottle replies

Jimmy suddenly had the urge to bust a nut inside the bottle, but soon realized his dicc wouldn't fit through the opening
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People in other nearby rooms could hear loud moaning coming from the soft spoken man

Long story short, Jimmy fucked himself on the bottle and fell absolutely in love

After sex, he laid there with it in his arms on the hotel bed

"I love you so much, Daniels" he whispers to the inanimate object

"......" the bottle says

"Awe" Jimmy says "you have such a way with words. Robbit could never. You are better than him in every way possible"

Suddenly Robert opens the hotel room door to find Jimmy cuddling a Jack Daniels bottle in his boxers

"What the bloody hell are you doing??" Robert asks, feeling cheated

Jimmy jumps away from the bottle

"Robbit, it's not what it looks like, I promise" Jimmy says

"It looks like you're cheating on me with a fucking glass bottle" Robert says, putting his hands on his hips

"Well, okay then it's exactly what it looks like, sorry Robbit" Jimmy shrugs

"Aight, we're over JimJam" Robert says, doing a hair flip and walking away.  

Stop scrolling

Jimmy and his Jack Daniels bottle lived happily ever after

Robert ended up dating George Michael a couple days later

Oh yeah and still no smut, sorry