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~Louis'~
"Liam, hand them over." He knows what I'm talking about. Liam sighs and slides them over. "You know they are bad for you, right?" I just shrug, I know they are but cigarettes calm me when I'm in my worst moods. I put one out and dig into my pocket to find my lighter. When the tip of fingers feels cold metal, I pull the item out. I insert the drug in my mouth , light it up, and let out a few puffs. My eyes trail to Liam. He's just staring at me. What's his fucking problem? He catches me giving him a concern look. "You know, I'm supposed to give you those looks, not vice versa." I shrug shoulders and ask "What's on your mind?" I know one of those downer people but I do care for the people who've been by my side. "Nothin' , It's just Sophia is always out of the house." He slumps down in his chair. Damn, Sophia means alot to him. "Talk it out with her." Okay, that's not the best I can do. "Yea , I should." Liam gets up and puts on his shoes. Already? This was a short visit. Usually we spend the rest of the day together. I open the door and wait for him to finish tying his shoes. "I'll talk to you later. Bye mate." I give him a little smile , letting him know it's alright to come in contact with me again. He leaves and I close the door quietly. I don't slam the door like I do a the time. If I do, Liam will think I'm pissed and will not drop the subject why I slammed the door.
I finish my cigarette and place it on the ash tray. That was my dinner. If I eat real food, I'll have to get rid of it the same way the food enters my body. Ever since Harry left, I've been insecure. Did he leave me because I was overweight, ugly, embarrassing? I'll never know the answer. I've been working out a little and eating less. A lot less. Niall and Liam begging me to eat some toast or some Jello. I do, but what they don't know, is that there's a toilet waiting for me to throw it back up. I go to my bedroom closet. Dig through everything. Then I found it. The little baby blue box. Filled with memories. Memories that I hate. But also cherish. I just look at it. Daring not to open it. I know if I do open it, I'll break down. I'll never forget what's inside it. Or what each item inside the box represent. I quickly hide the box . I don't wanna think of that horrible person that changed me completely. I head over to the fridge and grab 4 bottles of beer. Popping the each cap open. I chug down all of the them down. Carefully walking over to the unmade bed. Laying myself in the middle. Scrunching myself into a ball. No one is here to comfort me. My family could've. He could've. I lay there and think about my future. Until slumber crawls in.
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Don't worry! Harry is coming soon! ;)
