Sexual Healing My Ass

I'm here, Buttercup Part 1

A/N
Holaaaaa👋 Como estas? Idk Spanish so please excuse me if my spelling/phrasing is wrong. So, tiny announcement-ish, I just started Y11 and that shit's DEMANDING AF!!! I mean most of my year group got a fuck ton of hw on the first day and we're supposed to cover 75% of our syllabus before the mock exams in January so ya, POINT IS I won't be able to upload as much (not like I upload often or anything😅) and I'll try and make the uploads at least once every 2 weeks. Anyway, pls enjoy this chapter... or don't, I'm extremely sleep deprived so it's probably really shit.

*Butter's POV*

Finally, it's over.

I'm not a sex addict anymore.

Why? Because Kyle finally stopped the infected alien in the White House. Turns out sex addiction comes from outer space. I know right? It's so weird. Apparently, there are these wizard aliens that tend to somehow always land either at the White House or Area 51, which then cast a sex addiction spell on everyone cuz they're evil. Kyle was the only one immune to it, other than one of the guards but they killed him for some reason. Now everyone in our class is free of sex addiction, even Mr. Clit-something.

Yet, for some reason, I don't feel any different. Weird. Maybe the spell is supposed to go away slowly. Whatever, I'm just glad to be good ol' Butters again.

"Fellas! Fellas!" I scream running down the school hallway towards Eric, Stan, and Jimmy. "I'm *pant* finally f-f-free! I'm cured! *pant* And so are *pant* K-Kenny *pant* and Kyle! We're all ok!"

"Yea, I know. Kyle texted me last night. Congrats, you guys! Glad to have you back." says Stan. He tries to smile (through his depression) but it comes out like a weird cartoony squiggly line. I can tell he's happy for us though.

"W-well Butters, that's aw-aw-awesome!" cheered on Jimmy "Are you still planning on getting some d-d-d-d-dick?".

"W-what?!" I stammered, blushing extremely hard as I thought about my tutoring sessions. Damn, I really hope I won't stop seeing their juicy di-

"Oh, my my my Butters, you're still under the spell, aren't ya?" Eric finally spoke up, breaking me from my flushed trans.

"Shut up, Fatass. As if you wouldn't react the same if someone asked you that kind of question." muttered Stan.

"Oh, yeah? Trymme betch..."

"O-ok C-C-Cartman. Answer me this. Wh-what the hell do you have p-p-pictures of K-Kyle's naked ass for?" asked Jimmy, later adding his signature cute smile.

Eric's face looked like he was beaten up by Wendy again, except without the blood.

"OOOOOOOOOH," screeched Stan.

"Jesus Christ Eric! Where the heck did you even get these from?!" I said, not being able to believe my eyes or ears.

"Looks like someone here is gay for a dirty little Jew. Wanna join Tom Cruise in my closet?" Stan snickered.

"Shut up, guys I'm not gay!"

"You're so gay it physically hurts." said a monotonous voice from behind. Everyone turned around to see Craig and Tweek standing together holding hands. After a moment of stunned silence, Craig flipped everyone off and kept walking down the corridor with his boyfriend.

"That doesn't mean any-" nervously started Eric.

"Doesn't mean anything?! Craig is the LGBTQueen of the fucking school! My ass it doesn't mean anything." exclaimed Stan.

"Y-yea dude. You're a homo." added Jimmy.

Eric's gay? For Kyle? My Kyle? Oh, that bitch is gonna get it.

My face started boiling up and my fists were clinging tightly onto my fleece.

"B-B-Butters, you ok?"

"You son of a bitch..." I gritted through my teeth. I quickly grabbed the fat tub of lard by the collar and pulled him close to my face so that our noses were almost touching. "You fucking delete though pictures right now, mister, or you're gonna fucking regret it."

Jimmy and Stan stood there in shock.

"Dude, what the fuck, Butters. Calm your tits! It's just pictures, it's not like I'm actually fucking your boy toy." Cartman snickers.

"AAAAAGH" I scream punching him really hard in the face.

He slowly turned around, blood dripping out his nose. He was fuming.

"You mother fucker-" Eric said, charging onto me.

"Dude, dude! Lay off!" Stan grabbed Cartman before he could do anything.

"That little piece of shit punched me!"

"Yea well that's cuz he's in the process of getting rid of that spell that the alien thing sent on him."

"I don't give a crap! He's a piece of shit and he shouldn't have punched me!"

"I would gladly do it a second time, pussy" I smirked.

"Buttersssss!"

"Dude! Don't make it worse for yourself!" said Stan.

"Alright, fine. I'll let you go this time," announced Cartman. "But I swear, Butters, I'm gonna make a little bitch out of you for this."

To be continued...
Omg, that was pretty much the shittiest chapter I ever wrote. So, the chapter is shorter than usual cuz I decided to split it into two since it would be too long as one chapter so ya. Part 2 coming soon (like actually). Also, this is supposed to be like an explanation of the main event in the next Chapter.

PS. Since Craig the LGBTQueen is here I decided to put him in the picture cuz why the fuck not.

PPS. Kyman is my ultimate OTP so I HAD to include some of it here, even if it's one-sided. Sorry not sorry💁‍♀️