Dear Purple Pancakes,

09/06/2019

09/06/2019

Dear Purple Pancakes,

It's been two months since I wrote to you. What brought me back this day was actually my college English homework. There was a section I had annotated that was about Journal Writing. Apparently it helps me document my experiences and ideas. Really though, I am not really writing today with the intention of bettering my writing. I just got inspired to I guess. From what I remember about my last entry...a lot has changed.

 I do still think about the guy I mainly wrote about last time but, a little before college started I had a new thing to focus on. Yes, I do still think about him everyday, but the thoughts of him are now easy to brush away. I realize now that I'm healing, and a lot of it is thanks to forgetting about who he is and what we did together. I'm not going to lie, there is still times where I get overly sad about missing him but, now its for very short time periods. I like to call this  concept "cry and move on". That's literally how it's been. I do still check his accounts every night, but the feeling of missing him has been more so replaced with the feeling of "eh, whatever". That's really the best I can describe it. 

Actually, a few days ago when I was doing homework I decided to put on a Kpop chill playlist on in the background. I like these playlists because their of songs I don't know,  so I won't get as distracted. Sometimes I do get distracted by a new song that grasps my interest. A few days ago it was the song "Teach You" by an artist named Tiffany Young, The lyrics were all in English and described my situation with that boy. She also kind of said F you to that boy. Listen to it and you'll see what I mean haha. 

Anyway, what I really wanted to talk to you about is the fact that I have cried at times since orientation about college. It. Is. Difficult. I have struggled with school since Elementary School, and there are times where I ask myself if I really think I can pull college off. Well, I'm hanging in there so far. When things get hard I always remember what my sister told me, "don't feel sorry for yourself". She told me that this is a great opportunity and to take hold of it and never let it go. One of my friends I have in college likes to complain about all the work she has to do, and I started to complain too. But then I remembered that college is something I should not "feel sorry for myself" about, so I try not to do that anymore. That's really all I have to say. Wish me luck!

-11:11