A Love in Three Chapters [Completed]

Chapter 2.3

"Please," Lisa whispered. Jennie looked at her with pain and conflict in her eyes, before she whispered, "Lalisa" then shook her head.

Lalisa.

There are a lot of things Jennie would remember when she would hear Lisa's name, but no one has done it quite like how she remembered it. "This is Lalisa Manoban," she would remember YG introduce her, but what would always stand out is the memory of how the name escaped her own lips.

Lalisa.

In her life, she has never encountered anyone whose name sounds like a prayer. Every time Lisa's name plays around Jennie's lips, it's almost like a wish that escaped her tongue, a prayer to call Lisa back into her arms. And this became clearer especially when she went to Thailand and found herself fervently praying for a miracle like Lisa to save her from herself. The saving came in the form of how Jennie uttered Lisa's name unto her skin deep in the night branding herself unto Lisa's body, on times when she would hear Lisa gasp or when Jennie would gasp her name into her lover's mouth as she drowned in her kisses; how she whispers Lisa's name unto her chest hoping it reaches her heart; like a devotee trying to will the future to happen.

Lalisa.

Has no one figured out how sensual this name is? It seems she was cursed to live with this forever, having to bring this name unto the twists of her tongue and breathe it out with such longing that no one could ever replicate. Lalisa may be a common name to some, but it never was to Jennie; just playing with that name on her tongue already feels like an adventure.

And she hated it, although Lili was a name that they used and was hers and hers alone; but what she wouldn't give to breathe the name Lalisa again into her lips and every part of her skin while having her naked body beside her again.

"Lalisa..." Jennie started again. "I can't. I--"

"You won't," Lisa whispered knowingly, correcting her. She held Jennie's hand tighter. "I know."

"I just..."

"I know." Lisa, repeated. She didn't bother pushing further but remained squeezing Jennie's hand like her life depended on it.

Jennie was thankful she didn't have to explain, but a part of her almost wanted to. A part of her wanted to ask Lisa to keep pushing, a part of her wanted to ease back into that habit of fighting with her - anything to get her to understand the emotions she is harbouring. The truth is even after 5 years she wanted to understand again how it all started - or rather, how they started not fighting for each other, how they started to envision a life away from each other, how they started to accept that this might just be the path for them - growing old apart.

She just wanted to know how the end started.

Instead, perhaps much like how Jennie has dealt with Lisa in the last stages of their relationship, she stayed quiet and let her pride swell through. Except this time, Jennie is sure it's not really about pride anymore, but more of a feeling of resignation to what cards their fate has played them.

She slowly rested her head on Lisa's shoulders, then sadly listened to the raindrops on the roof of the cab slowly coming to a pause as their ride weaved through the Parisian traffic. She painfully wished that the cab ride won't be over soon.

Sometimes, some endings are not explosive. They're just painful and inevitable.