bad dreams

till death do us part

I'm a typical tom boyish girl. Nothing really special about me except my dreams. I have insomnia most nights but when I actually fall asleep my dreams haunt me and cause my usually shitty day time to feel a lot better than the life I have in my sleep.

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I have this dream most nights where I usually wake up into the dream with my hands tied to something behind me. I'm on my knees and i look down to see a normal floor like you see in hospitals.

When I decide to lift my head I see a table. It sounds stupid but this table is one you see in those weird horror movies where the person on the table has metal strips holding their wrists to the table and their ankles and waist down tight too.

Most of the time the person on the table is someone I love a whole awful lot. Their someone I know well, like all their secrets and wishes and hopes for life.  when I see the face of the person on the table their crying and screaming because they are scared and dont know whats happening to them. They have just awoken to.

I hear a wiring of machine gears. I look towards the noise and see a strange robotic like arm moving towards my brains victim. The arm has a razor blade like you find in a hardware store or in a child's hand, causing their death.

This blade connected to the robotic arm starts hovering over my friend. It starts to move down and place itself on their skin. Starting at the base of the wrist  Slowly dragging the razor over their delicate flesh.  Destroying their skins virginity and innocence. Over and over this arm moves and the screams and tears falling from the face of my loved one drowns out my own screams.

"No stop this! No no no!"

I scream but its not like anyone hears me. Im in my own head. One cut next to the other.  Blood spilling slowly out of their precious body. Up their arm, they scream and try to pull away. Now the blade has left its mark on their skin isn't it enough?!?!  "No you fucking mess!" my brain shouts at me. "Never enough!!" Those words have haunted me for years and years now.

Suddenly the machine jolts and starts lowering itself back towards their body. The next arm. Starting again at the base of the wrist. There are no more blank spaces only blood and cuts and torn flesh. My friend continues to cry.

They finally see me pulling against my restraints. "HELP ME!" They gasp struggling to keep their wits about them. Pleading with their eyes for me to somehow save them.

In my dream I close me eyes and scream.

I open my eyes again and the blade has made its way up my friends right leg and is starting on the left. They stopped screaming but their still crying. They are going to bleed out soon if I don't get out and help them.

The arm moves now to the torso of my loved one and continues its job.

This whole time I'm screaming again, crying again, pulling apart the skin with the ropes that are holding me. I hear a crack and a sharp pain goes up my arm. Shit I broke my wrist. I still pull at the ropes, no pain I go through could amount to the pain my friend is experiencing.

I'm dying mentally and its starting to affect my actual body. When I get really upset I get to a point where I can't stop my crying. I become a sobbing mess and it gets harder to get air to my lungs. If I don't get myself in control my sobs can end up killing me.

My heart beats really fast then slows to almost a stop. But usually in this situation I dont care. My friend is going to die. If I die along with them then so be it.

The robotic arm has almost finished literally cutting every inch of the body.

All I can do is yell and pull at my restraints, breaking my wrist more, and scream and cry untill the razor finally makes its mark.

I watch helplessly as the razor cuts their neck and they look into my eyes one last time and say "death did us part"