suffer • h.s

seven

it's been a while. i have so many ideas. like the best ideas i've ever had, so stay around :)
—
thursday, february 15th
12:33 pm

luke: Why do you have to be busy every time I'm free :(

me: uh same goes for you

luke: Alright maybe I can rearrange some things

me: i'm joking you don't have to do that lol

luke: I said I was busy tomorrow but I'm actually just going to a friends show. He's in a pretty small band you probably haven't heard of and they're performing at this club. Idk if you'd wanna go but maybe we could grab food and stop by?

me: fuck

me: that sounds great

me: but i have a family dinner

luke: Ok

luke: This is impossible

me: :(

me: let's stop putting ourselves in a box

Luke: ?

me: what about lunch tomorrow? instead of dinner

Luke: Good thinking Halle

Luke: Let's do lunch

me: finally !!

me: now to decide where to go

I may or may not have a little crush.

I've been texting Luke a lot recently, and it feels good. This is my favorite part- the part where you know the other person likes you but you also kind of don't know. It's fun and it makes me feel like a teenage girl again.

"What's got you so smiley?" Hannah. "Let me guess, you're watching porn."

"Fuck off." I laugh. I stare at my last text waiting for him to respond. Literally a teenager.

"So are you pregnant with Luke's child yet or?"

"We're going to lunch tomorrow." I grin, looking up at her. We're both on the couch as she tries and picks out a Netflix movie and my feet are resting on her lap.

"Shut the fuck up! Yay!" She smiles back. "I kept thinking you guys would just text and it'd fizzle out."

"Ah, thanks for having hope."

"Have you told Harry?"

"We made the plans like, one minute ago, so no. Do I need to?"

"I don't know." She shrugs. "Aren't they close?"

"Not sure how close they are anymore but they're friends. I feel like it'd be weird to tell him. I never like, tell him when I'm hanging out with guys it's more of a recap thing I'll talk about after the fact."

"You do you." She presses play on Something Great. "I heard this was amazing."

I zone out again texting Luke as we go back to our indecisiveness.

luke: I feel like just going to a restaurant is boring

me: yeah

me: what about like a beach thing

luke: What does that even mean

me: idk

me: i'm just thinking outdoors

luke: OH

luke: There are food trucks a block away from my place this week

luke: That's perfect

me: perrfeeect

luke: Peeeeerrrrrrrffeeeeeeeect

me: xD

luke: xP

me: i'm gonna watch a movie with hannah

luke: Tell her I say hi

"Luke says hi."

"Tell Luke I want you to have his children so they can have that fucking hair." Hannah says back quickly, staring at the TV.

me: she says hi back

—

4:51pm

Fuck therapy is brutal sometimes. I make my way out of the office building after staring at myself and wiping my eyes in the lobby bathroom. I started therapy a long time ago, back in the beginning of college, for my horrible anxiety. It helps a ton but it's can be overwhelming how much you learn about yourself, especially when it's not so great.

I shake it off and try not to think about my issues for now- just spent the last hour doing that out loud.

I pop in my airpods and start the short walk back home to the apartment.

me: good for dinner tomorrow? everyone's expecting you :)

harry: Of course

harry: I'll bring her flowers

me: harry

me: stop trying to become my stepdad

harry: Ew Halle

harry: Stop trying to make me your daddy

me: i'm done texting you for the day. i've had enough

harry: Sorry. Forgive me?

me: blegh

me: ok

me: just don't say daddy again

harry: Never.

harry: What're you up to?

me: walking home from therapy

harry: Ah

harry: Stop by that coffee shop!! Get me an iced matcha

me: am I seeing you ...?

harry: I'll pick it up

harry: Actually no I won't I'm going out to dinner

me: ok lol

me: with who

harry: Alex

me: oh?

harry: What

me: alex that girl from the recording thing u did right

harry: Yeah

harry: But it's not like that

me: whatever u say :)))

me: she's cute!

harry: Really not like that. Promise

me: alright well talk to me later u need to facetime me i miss ur face

harry: Course. Miss ur face tooooo Hal

I smile and open my music app and play some 5SOS. Luke's voice kills me.

I finish the walk home quickly and hop in the shower before making myself some dinner. I get this feeling and wanna text Luke and just talk to him, but I don't. Not trying to be too annoying too early on.

—
kinda boring chapter. had to set some things up for it to get fun! but seriously, this plot is different. the way i wanna carry this story out feels different than what i've seen before. hope you stay! xoxo

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