Rude Awakenings From Sleeping Rough

I woke up in St. James Park this morning to find a man masturbating over me while I slept.

Bizarrely, my first reaction was "Thank God it's not a cop." The harsh reality of what I had woken to quickly became evident; but by that point the pervert had tucked himself back into his track-pants and was running away.

The incident didn't end there.

Realizing my day was starting at 3:50 a.m. I gathered myself together and was disgusted to find the top of my jeans and bottom of my shirt were damp with his pre-ejaculation discharge. The smell was easily masked with the aerosol deodorant in my rucksack, but the dampness and discomfort that came with it would have to wait for the sun to rise.

As I headed out of the park, I stopped at a rubbish bin to roll a cigarette. The pervert came out of nowhere to tell me to be careful because somebody had been wanking over me while I was sleeping, then scurried off again. He then turned around and started walking back to me, exposed penis in hand, pleasuring himself furiously and asking me if I liked it.

Surprisingly, I was alarmed but not frightened. This wasn't the first disturbing "incident" I've faced since I unceremoniously found myself in the streets of London, and likely won't be the last. I've received self-defence lessons from my friends in the homeless/rough sleeping community and can take care of myself enough to buy time to run from a situation. I grabbed my keys from my pocket and made a fist, slipping them between my fingers ready to punch him in the eye if necessary. I swung my arm threateningly, shouting at him to "Get the fuck away from me now!" It was enough. He ran away again. He did follow at a distance for a brief time, but once I was out of the park and on the street, he disappeared into the darkness and I didn't see him again.

Reflecting on the experience, I wasn't sure what disturbed me more: the incident itself or my reaction to it. I was alarmed; I was disturbed; but for the first time in facing one of the potentially perilous situations that all rough sleepers find themselves in fairly regularly, I wasn't particularly frightened nor upset. That was a first, and I was concerned I was viewing the rude awakening as "par for the course" and becoming too hardened to life -a development that would affect not only my writing, but my basic humanity.

I also had to ponder the issue that all rough sleepers find themselves wrestling with at some point: what to do about it. It's a fairly straightforward decision when you're comfortably ensconced in mainstream life; not so straightforward when you're not. There are issues and ramifications to take into consideration that aren't factors when you're able to return to the safety of your own home, lock the door, and gaze contemplatively at your navel imagining your response to a moral dilemma you will likely never face.

You have a responsibility to get the word out obviously. Other rough sleepers need to know. Forewarned is forearmed. However, that paves the way to self-preserving vigilante justice that can quickly get violently out of hand.

Informing the police -anonymously of course to avoid the dangerous reputation as a street-level "snitch" whatever the circumstances- is the obvious response. But it opens a problematic can of worms for those sleeping in the park -an illegal act. The relationship between the police and the homeless is problematic at best -and the fault doesn't lie with the police, although many rough sleepers would disagree.

Inviting the increased patrols that such a report would bring also invites conflict and chaos that helps no-one. Even should the police turn a blind eye to their presence, some of your fellow rough sleepers will not react favourably to their presence -particularly if alcohol, drugs, mental illness, or outstanding arrest warrants are factors. Even my first reaction on waking was "Thank God it's not a cop," before the sight of the erect penis being passionately stroked over me took hold -and I have no reason to fear nor be antagonized by the police at all. By ensuring the safety of your fellow rough sleepers you are opening the door to conflict, violence, and possible serious injury -including your own.