Silent Awkward Love (SAL)

Chapter One: Floor’s

     Papa says that the shiny bright thing in the sky that I seem to always stare at is called "The Moon".

Of course I told him he was wrong and that it’s a man smiling. He is always smiling down on me it doesn’t matter what the weather is like, the man is always there smiling sometimes on a good day it’s a full smile, a smile from ear to ear and high cheek bones.

But tonight it’s just a half smile. I study its outline, every curve, every light spot.  I started to sketch him on the wall and jumped here and there to reach the higher parts of the wall to draw him. Stepping back to see my wall, I breathe lightly taking a glance from the left side of the wall till I reach the end. I sketched from its half to its whole. I called it my smiling man. Not in one part of my “sky wall” was the smiling man not smiling.

The colorful chalks fell from my fingertips, and I stumbled back falling on my butt. I dragged myself towards the wall near to me as I rest my head on it.

My feet were cold from standing sketching from a longtime; rolling them up and pulling my shirt down to the tip of my toes I rested my chin on my knees. I sit there staring at the smiling man. My hands were a light shade of white and blue and chalk was all over them.

I could hear my own breathing I just listened to it; the sound of my own breathing cleared my mind of everything else. I inhaled and waited to see how long I could hold it in.

Beep. The sound brought me out of my thoughts.

 I can hear the sound of the door being unlocked. Papa walked in while shutting the door behind him.

I wasn't allowed outside of these four walls. Papa says it isn't safe. There wasn’t even a doorknob on my side of the walls. So I stay in my room papa would bring my food. Sometimes he gets even new colors of chalk which is very rare.

The five walls that surrounded me were all that I looked at most of the time. There is a bed in here and a whole wall full of books that I stuck my head in when papa would have friends over. And then it would get too loud with their yelling, and pounding sounds being sent through the walls and vibrations through the floor.

"I see you finished the wall, it looks amazing “he spoke softly but swalled back hard as if holding back the urge to do something.

My eyes fell from his neck and to the hardwood floor.

"I umm having a friend over tonight and I brought you a new book" his chest was rising and falling quickly as he spoke.

 As he spoke it sent a cold shiver through my body and I tried to hold back from shaking it off.

No once did he look at me when he talked. My eyes searched his face, his body, every bone of him for something that I knew I was incapable of finding.

I looked between him and my smiling man. And I thought to myself “How different they are?” Papas face wasn’t as soft as the smiling man and papa never smiled not even a half smile. Papa was so cold on the outside and I wondered if he knows.

My head laid back on the wall, and I tilted it a little I watched as He rose stumbling with his balance. Stopping at the door for a second and stared at my smiling man one more time. I couldn't watch him leave lowering my body lying down on my side on the floor and just started at the wall.

I heard the door close and beep it was locked again. I felt wetness slide down my nose and watched as the tip of it drowned in water.

"Smiling Man....how come you’re always smiling? What do you smile at every night?" My voice was cold and my body was numb but the smiling man on my wall still smiled down on me.

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Readers: Hi :) So you read my first chapter im not very good at puttin intto words what i want to write. Please leave honest comments anything that can help be blosoom into a good writer. Let me know if you ave any concerns? Or if i should change anything. Thanks for reading xovo

My editor:  adicted2watty