Lie to Me

{Prolouge}

My eyes flutter open slowly and my body takes in the warmth surrounding me. Two strong arms encircle my waist in a soft, protective embrace. I know this feeling too well as not to realize whose breath is delicately fanning across my face. I bite down on my lip to stop from smiling at the sleepy boy lying next to me. I look at him through my eyelashes, taking in his peaceful state. His lips are slightly parted and his eyes closed, preventing me his heavenly green eyes.  I could stay like this forever, warm and happy. That will never happen though because it’s nearly time to get and face the reality of this life.

He loves another girl and I can’t say I blame him. She’s a thousand times better in every way than I.  But she doesn’t care for him; she just wants his face, his sweet nothings and the image of having him on her arm. Of course, he doesn’t see all this so I’m left to live in hateful resentment of the girl, wishing it were I leaving the country with him instead of her.

Sometimes I feel like asking him to pretend, just until its time to go, pretend that he loves me as more than a best friend. I want him to hold me close and tell me I’m his heaven, like Ron Pope in his songs. I want him to press his lips against mine. I just want him. I want him with all his flaws and imperfections. I want him more than anyone else. I want him every day and every night.

And I have denied the next part of this sentence many times to myself, but now I cannot help but admit that I love this guy. I love him and trust him and care for him and rely on him. So, he can’t leave me, not now anyway. Just give me some more time and I can get over him. God, how many times have I told myself that?

It is as I’m thinking of all these things that Harry wakes up. His eyes move over my face with a look I can’t quite place.

“I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have made you stay with me.” I begin, but am interrupted

“There is no need to be sorry, you’re my best friend, it’s my job to be here for you.” He whispers before rolling out of the bed and beginning to pull on his shoes.

My chest hurts just that little bit more every time he tells me I’m his friend. It pushes me just that little bit further over the edge of insanity.

“Anyway I’d better be going, Rosanne will probably be wondering where I am.” Harry continues unaware of the mental torture that girls name brings to me.

“What excuse could you possibly come up with, for spending time with me again? Another injured or upset friend? I think she’s going to start picking up on the fact you have not one injured OR upset friend when she sees them all at the farewell party.” I taunt. My inner misery has left me in a bad mood. I immediately sense Harry tense up. He turns to face me with a sympathetic expression drawn across his handsome features.

“I’ll think of something…” he mumbles “I know you’re angry with having to lie about spending time together, but once I convince her that you’re not in love with me then we can hang out again!”

My heart hitches up my throat.

“Convince he-her that I’m not…in lo-love with you?” I stutter out my sentence before covering my wavering composure with a hearty laugh. “She must think herself funny.”

Harry only chuckles and nods in reply before walking back over to where I sit in the bed and cupping my face in his hands.

“You sure you’re okay?” He asks looking into my eyes. With all my strength gone and the inability to form a coherent sentence I nod. The tears start to fill my eyes as I realize this is the last time I will see Harry. Because we all know Rosanne isn’t going to let us see each other ever again after they’ve left the country.  I try desperately to blink them away, but instead they only increase, blinding my ability to see.

“I love you, best friend.” He whispers. Finally it all becomes too much and I snap away from him. With my back to him the tears spill over and the blood leaks from my bottom lip as I bite down on it to stop myself from screaming.

“Get out.” I manage to say with a surprisingly strong, cold voice despite my wave of emotions. His hands reaches out and is so close to touching me that I can feel the heat radiating from it, but he draws back and walks towards the door. When it clicks closed my body collapses into a heap. A silent storm takes over inside me making my body shake violently and my sobs erupt in short sharp bursts. The void inside my icy heart has never felt so cold.