Der Perfekte Drier (The Perfect Threesome) - A Rammstein Fanfiction

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I came to. The manager of the cafe was looking down at me her face etched with concern. "Miss? Are you alright? Do you want me to call an ambulance?" She asks. "No thanks. I'll be fine" I give her a tight smile, hoping she'll leave me and the pieces of my shattered heart in the gutter alone as it all came rushing back. I wish I hadn't of woken up.

I got home to find Leah still there. She turned around when she heard the door open and her face fell the second she saw me. "Lainie? How bad was it?" She asks quietly, my face completely betraying me. "He-he-h" My mind was still in shambles; I could hardly form a sentence let alone say his name. I collapse to my knees, tears steadily cascading down my cheeks, not a sound to be heard. She rushed over to my side and held me while I cried silently on the floor.

Leah got up to shut my front door before locking it and pulling me up and leading me towards the couch where she sat me down, walked off to grab my bong and mix bowl, assuming I'd need something stronger than alcohol. She was right. I took a few hits, tears still streaming. "Tell me what happened" She asked again gently. I took a deep breath and let it out. My chest felt like it was the first breath of oxygen it had taken since hearing the words that crushed my mind, heart and soul.

"He-he said he's going back to Germany and that he'll never forget me" I said, my voice emoting the absolute emptiness I felt. Leah's body went rigid as her head whipped around to tell me what a fucking idiot I was. "What?! Why didn't you stop him?!" Leah says, her own surprise clearly less crippling than my own. "I couldn't. I was stuck. I just...froze. I fucking passed out after he left" I explained, taking another hit from the bong. "You're gonna go after him right?!" She demanded, both her hands on my shoulders.

"What's the fucking point?! He left me, Leah! He. LEFT. Me. What am I gonna do? Chase him to Germany after the bullshit I pulled today?" I exploded. Emptiness replaced by anger. Why did he leave? Why didn't he stay and listen to what I had to say? Why was it so easy for him to leave? Was it easy for him? A million thoughts began to ticker tape through my head all bouncing off one another and getting jumbled up in the process.

I was not handling this. I was panicking, I was angry, I was beyond distraught. And Leah could clearly see that. "Ok Lainie. Stop. Think of exactly what he said to you. Leave nothing out" She said firmly, her hands still on my shoulders. She was being careful not to tell me to calm down. I thought for a moment, his words coming back to carve more wounds into my already bleeding soul.

"He said he lied to me when he said he wanted me to be free. That he wanted me to himself but he didn't want me to change or to be forced to choose. He said he would throw away his own freedom if it meant I was the only one for him and he was the only one for me" I began to blubber, tears mingling with heart-wrenching sobs. Next thing I know, Leah's hand connects with my cheek and an almighty crack echoes around the room. I go silent, not believing what just happened.

"Are you fucking blind?! He wants you. He didn't leave you because he doesn't like you. He left for you, to make it easier for you. He removed himself from the equation so YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO CHOOSE. He basically just sacrificed himself for your own happiness. What, you think it was easy for him to just saunter away like that? I bet anything his mind was screaming at him to turn back" Leah was right. It began to sink in. "I'm kinda glad he didn't given my little fainting spell" I begin wiping the tears from my eyes.