What is depression?
Depression (major depressive disorder) is a common and serious medical illness that negatively affects how you feel, the way you think and how you act. Fortunately, it is also treatable. Depression causes feelings of sadness and/or a loss of interest in activities once enjoyed. It can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems and can decrease a person's ability to function at work and at home.
Depression symptoms can vary from mild to severe and can include:
Feeling sad or having a depressed mood
Loss of interest or pleasure in activities once enjoyed
Changes in appetite — weight loss or gain unrelated to dieting
Trouble sleeping or sleeping too much
Loss of energy or increased fatigue
Increase in purposeless physical activity (e.g., hand-wringing or pacing) or slowed movements and speech (actions observable by others)
Feeling worthless or guilty
Difficulty thinking, concentrating or making decisions
Thoughts of death or suicide
Symptoms must last at least two weeks for a diagnosis of depression.
My take on depression
Most of my readers know I suffer from depression. There have been times when I didn't write for months because I was to stuck in my mind.
I would just sleep and sleep and sleep only time I got up was to use the bathroom. I slept so much that I got sick.
I've been dulling with this since 3rd grade, which is also the first time I was bullied. I was the "weird" kid is school. I felt alone and I didn't know who I could talk to.
So about half way into the year I cut my wrist 4 times, but for me that didn't work. I honestly felt stupid, I couldn't even kill my self right.
Through out the rest of grade school and middle school I cut myself.
When I hit high school the bullying go worse, I was older and fatter. I feel ugly to sum up what I'm saying. I got pulled outta school because I would cry every morning because I didn't want to go.
Getting pulled outta school was cool till my depression came back. Then I became a failure, "I couldn't even finish school".
Thoughts always cloud my mind " Your not gonna be shit in life", "Your stupid " ,"You Know your fat right nobody wants you". "Your ugly just kill your self".
So I tried it again, I took to whole bottles of pills, it put me in the hospital. I was put on suicide watch.
I didn't eat, talk nothing. This honestly was all over the place but I hope you understand what I'm saying.
I'm still battling my depression every day I wake up. I'm still learning that I'm not ugly and stupid. But I'm not gonna lie to ya some days I'm like fuck it I wanna die.
I'm tired, why am I so tired I hate even lived half of my life.
I'm lost in this big world.
But be better than me Get help before it's to late someone loves you.
If you need help call this number
1-800-273-8255
If you need a friend pm me I'm always here.
