Mathew's Story

Part Seven

We ate two large pizzas and enjoyed them as Debbie told all about the pranks she and Samantha used to pull on the old lady next door that had hosed me down and gotten the favor returned. I was laughing when she told how they had repainted her car and put a number of auto jokers in it as well.

“So anyway, she comes out the next morning and her brown Cadillac is now yellow, blue, green and bright red. She gets mad and opens the driver side door and finds the next surprise waiting for her. The pull string poppers go off and she about has a heart attack. When she finally gets in her car a few minutes later and tries to start it the auto jokers go off. All ten of them and all at the same time.

The car starts smoking, whistling and banging as the jokers go off. She screams and runs into the house to call the fire department to tell them her car is on fire while we are rolling on the floor laughing like mad. We both got grounded for a week but it was so worth it! The look on her face was priceless and even our parents had to admit it was pretty funny. That was the last big prank we got away with for quite a while.

We have gotten her a few times with small pranks like taping a long wire to the back of the car and hooking it to an old radio antenna to make her think someone had done something to her car. Last year we sent her an anonymous letter with just a simple note saying, “I know.” She was paranoid for a month after that and rarely left the house.

If she had not been such a bitch then we would have most likely left her alone, but she hated everyone it seems. No one knew how to get her to leave us alone or move until you came along and helped her to finally get taken away. The police still think she was not willing to admit she forgot about the outside faucet being wrecked and that the hose accidentally sprayed her when she tried to use it. The look on her face was so much fun to see as they put her in handcuffs and took her to the psychiatric hospital.

No one believed a word she said and I think the police were honestly happy to finally have a reason to haul her off. She called them at least twice a day and accused us of several truly stupid things over the years. She accused my dad one day of being a spy for the Russian KGB and said that Samantha's real name was Svetlana Detova.”

By the time we finished eating the pizzas I had relaxed a great deal and laughed at the numerous pranks they had pulled on the old lady next door to Debbie. “We tried to pull a prank on Samantha's next door neighbor once but she caught us painting the car and thought it was funny as hell and laughed about it. She was the one that helped us come up with the idea of booby trapping the old lady's car so well and painting it those obnoxious colors.

She even helped paint it with us in the middle of the night. For an old lady she was a lot of fun and was just as much a prankster as we were at times. She moved out of state to Arizona a year before we met you, but she would have liked you instantly I think. She was a great person.”

Debbie paid the bill and we walked back towards the dorms discussing various pranks they had pulled on others down through the years. They even talked about how they had tried to find a way into the football stadium to paint the rival school's images on everything but could not get in. The football stadium here is too small for exercising but I think I know where you could maybe get in some time to play and not be worrying about getting a large crowd settling in to hear you play.