Miso Soup for Dinner [Naruto Fanfic]

and maybe some eggplant?

this is literally just time travel crack. nothing important happens. sasuke trolls some people and then embarrasses baby kakashi because he fucking can. au in that sasuke stayed in the village after his fight with naruto, agreed to be kakashi's assistant, and then started to bone the man just to be a shit.

i have no regrets. zero.

Miso Soup for Dinner

When Sasuke first lays eyes on the younger version of Kakashi, there's a voice in his head, that sounds suspiciously like Sakura, that goes, "Aww! Look how cute he is!" And then there are several kunai being thrown his way and the voice changes from Sakura's cooing to Naruto's startled yelp and Sasuke dodges nimbly as he reminds himself that he needs to spend slightly less time with his team. Before he goes insane.

He jumps to avoid the projectiles and rests his feet on a sturdy tree branch, peering down at the three man squad that lays in wait before him. A tiny Kakashi is already readying himself, shuriken in-between his fingers as he pulls his arms back to launch them towards Sasuke. Sasuke, because he's a show off, uses his Amenotejikara to teleport, unabashedly switching places with Obito because he is also petty at the best of times. The Uchiha yelps, just barely dodging the barrage of weapons that were meant for Sasuke, ducking behind the tree trunk to avoid being hit.

Sasuke jumps back, flipping in the air to avoid Kakashi's swipe and Rin's jab, landing in a crouch. Amused, Sasuke smirks slightly at Kakashi's disgruntled expression. He was so short, Sasuke couldn't help but notice, taking in the silver haired child. He looked far too serious, something that was odd to see when one considered Sasuke mainly saw Kakashi reading porn and putting off his Hokage duties by more and more ridiculous and elaborate means. This little soldier Kakashi was a novelty, really.

"Sorry about this," Sasuke says, not sorry at all, as he sprints forward, watching the three man team, now with Obito standing in between Kakashi and Rin, settle their stances in preparation for a clash. Without a single second of hesitation, Sasuke stops abruptly only a meter away, startling the three younger shinobi long enough that Sasuke sets off an under-powered Chidori Nagashi right in their faces. Their muscles lock up immediately, their bodies growing rigid as they fall together in a heap, spasming violently on the ground. The shock should've been low enough that no permanent damage should befall them, but he needed it strong enough to guarantee that the three of them would be immobilized for at least a minute. Sasuke generously ignores their twitching, crouching down to lean over a twitching Kakashi. Baby Kakashi has a powerful hate filled glare going on, but Sasuke easily ignores the look to absentmindedly search through the boy's kunai pouches.

"I really am sorry about that," Sasuke says offhandedly, clearing the first pack as purely full of shuriken, before he moves onto the next, still searching. "Didn't want to have to down you guys like that. Dangerous times you're living in, with the war and all, so it's not a good idea to get paralyzed, huh?"

A gurgly growl comes out of Obito's mouth, a chatter of teeth as the boy tries to say something. Sasuke looks over at him, curious, and he can see the confusion and outrage painted clearly across the loudmouth's face.

"Yes, I'm an Uchiha," Sasuke says, easily understanding Obito's gibberish. He'd started paralyzing Kakashi whenever the man tried to leave all his paperwork with Sasuke. He's started to pick up the nonsense that come out of his victim's mouths when unable to move. Sasuke might have opted to stay in the village and be the man's assistant, but he point blank refused to do the man's paperwork. If he truly didn't want to be the Hokage that badly, then he should've just let Naruto flounder in the post like Sasuke had recommended. But no, there was rules and regulations. Pah. Like Naruto ever followed the rules anyway.