hey, stranger

"January King
Best in research paper
Deans lister top 3
With Honors with an average of 95.7"

And then I heard my name and i just find myself walking past through my professors and now accepting my college diploma and giving my university's president a handshake and when i sat down i thought "what would i do now?" Its all over, im already done, i guess i just gotta find a job now. Well i think that wouldnt be a problem i just sent 10 of resumes to the publishing companies that i want to work for. But there is still something missing maybe because i dont really know whats my purpose i dont know why im here maybe for my parents but thats not it for my passion i guess but still i can i do it anytime so i think its not that.
So now, what is it? How can i know whats my purpose? Shit.

Its summer sunday one week after my graduation now im in my room just staring at the ceiling still doesnt know what to do with my life until i heard something from my laptop a notification i think then it came from my email. One of the companies wanted to meet me tommorow but im too lazy to come so i just stared at it for minutes thinking if i should tell mom or not.

By the way im january people call me january, i wanted it that way, my surname is king its cute right? Its cute for me well, my life is actualy pretty boring, my dad is in mexico right now because hes in duty for military, my mother is a house wife, i have no sibling, i dont know why. my life is all about studying, i never went to parties because i dont feel like it both highschool and college. i never had a boyfriend because i dont feel like it, all i did my whole life is to study i think its because im good at it so i never thought of doing other things than to study, i majored english literature in college i want to be a writer, thats what i really like doing, to write or practically type. i never had any adventures even though i live alone my whole years of my college i dont really know why i cant just release myself and just live and now i think that will happen again.

My mother suddenly knocked on my door and told me if im hungry because its already time for lunch and i told her im not then suddenly my phone vibrated and i decided to look at it and then at the same time my mother took a peek at my laptop and saw the whole message.

"You got in!" She said and i told her they just wanted to see me in an interview after that thats the time ill know if i got in, i wanted to tell her so bad that i dont want to go but i know she'll ask me why and i dont know what to say because even i myself dont know why i dont want to do anything. but i thought i wont lose anything if i tell her that, ill just say

"just because..." And she replied "what do you mean just because this is an interview january, you have to go you cant lose this" well, mom i think ill lose myself if i do this. "Okay ill go" i finally told her "there you go, good girl. Come down if you want to eat." "Okay mom" i told her then she left, and i told myself to just dont care and just live the way it is just dont think and just live. Fuck. I think i will do it all again the boring me. Life sucks.

I woke up because of my mothers voice trying to wake me up and telling me its a big day for me so since i already have no choice i just get ass up and took a shiwer and wore the most decent dress and blazer that i have took my bag and went downstairs "you look really good" my mother said and i just smiled. Fuck. I dont wanna do this. But still, i ate my breakfast and rode my car to the city. While walking towards the front desk to ask about my interview i bumped into someone and he said he knows well actually i dont know him im not good at people with their faces or their names.

"Sorry, i dont know you."i said
"Well, thats harsh, were together at our english literature class the whole third year"
"Really? well, im sorry for that but i have to go"
"Oh, okay-- but if you need someone if you didnt get the job or even if you get the job you can call me"

Then he gave me a piece of paper and its obviously 'the weird guy that i dont even know the name's' number, then when hes already out of the building i stuffed the paper to my bag and go on the the front desk.

By the time i got there the woman who is incharge asked me whats my business and i told her i have an interview and she asked my name and then she told me the interview is scheduled at 2PM and the time right now is 8AM and for shits sake i dont wanna go home, so i thanked the woman and went my way. So i found myself walking in the big apple wearing the most decent clothes that i have in my closet. Then the guy that i ran into suddenly popped in my head its dumb yes but i think i need to do something dumb right now.

"Hi!"i gelreeted when he picked up
"January?"
"Yeah."
"Did you get in?"
"Well, actually my interview is scheduled at 2PM and i didnt know that so im thinking--"
"Where are you?"
"At the heart of the central park"
"Im coming, stay there"
"Oh-- okay..."then he ended the call

Fifteen minutes later i sat down at the grass because im literally super tired i dont know why but i just felt so empty inside all freaking time after i graduated college and know im gonna meet a guy that i dont even know the name and never saw him before all of this is actuallt really not me maybe because im very desperate right now. Desperate to have somone to---

"Hey."
The guy suddenly came out of nowhere. Then he sat by myside and looked around the place and he said "its really beautiful here" and told him i know he asked me if i want someone to talk to thats why i called him and i said im just bored i lied because i think in thats state i think im being childish so he said he'll fill the time that i have left before the interview and and askedif we can have some coffee and as a desperate person that i am i said yes.

When we arrived at the coffee shop he ordered the coffee because he knows the place and then when the coffee arrived thats when he started talking and talking about what he wanted to do with hus life for example hesaid about traveling somewhere that he doesnt know loke a country that he's not familiar with so he can get lost and maybe in that way he'll find his self. And for me even the while this is a kinda dumb thing to do it makes sense i wish i could do that. Then he suddenly

"What about you?"
"I dont know really."
Then he made a face like his faking his facialexpression like--i dont know, surprised, i guess? Then he asked me "what? What do you mean? Then what are you doing here?" Really, trust me i dont know too. I didnt answer him because im embarrassed that i dont really know what to do with my life. Its fucked up.

Then we went silent for 10 minutes then he broke the silence and asked me if i want to go somewhere and i said yes. Definitely. The he called the taxi and told the driver an address and after 15 minutes here we are somewhere in new york. We stopped infront of a studio apartment i think its not that small its average for a studio apartment it has 4 steps of stairway until the front door it has 2 windows the 1st window the one nearest to the door doesnt have a curtain the windows is so big you can see the inside, i think thats is just my conclusion because im not wearing my glasses right now so i cant really see right through but i think with that size you can see the inside.

"So this is it."
"What is this?"
"Well, im still living with my parent my clothes is still in my room but practically-- i live here" wow! this is the first time we met and he already brought me to his apartment.

Then we walked and he opened the door and im surprised. Im right, its a studio apartment. Theres a sofa in the left part where the windows are and the kitchen in the right as well is the dining table and you can see the bathroom from where we are standing. And at the middle, is full of paintings--unfinished paintings its very beautiful then i saw two painting that i think just need a final touch all of it is beautiful in the floor you will see the brushes and the paintings is just so beautiful.

"Are you that surprised?"
"Yeah. I -- i didnt... Expect"
"Well, yeah this is my passion"
"This is beautiful"
"Thank you"

Then we just sat in his sofa and drunk a lot of red wine that he actually not aware that he has that and we just talked about hus passion and what he likes what he doesnt like and what he wanted to do after he found his self. I cant bring myself to talk about me bacause i really doesnt have anything im nothing like him he has more direction than me i think i should try to be more him and then hours passed by i felt so dizzy so i decided to lie with my head in his lap and just that i fucking fell asleep.