Touch (Posie)

Chapter 9

" I don't know".

Penelope watched Josie's features, the way her eyes darted down to the ground, fingers fumbling with her shirt and Penelope wondered just how hard it was for one person to admit their feelings given such an open opportunity. Of course Josie was never one for confrontation, never one to openly discuss what bothered her or pissed her off until the very last moment when on the verge of exploding. Always the one for clear and levelheadedness. Until it came to her own feelings.

" Honestly I don't believe that. How long are we gonna keep this up? Sneaking around and ending up in my bed? You kissing me like nothing else matters and then acting like nothing happened".

" It's not like that" Josie bit out, brown eyes finally looking into Penelope with this edge like she was trying to prove otherwise.

" Oh isn't it?" Penelope took Josie's faltered movements to take that half a step closer pinning both arms around the brunette so she was trapped between her arms. " Why is it so hard for you to put yourself first?". Josie sucked in this sharp breath as if Penelope was asking for something impossible.

" It's harder than it seems P-"
" Actually Josie it's not" Penelope doesn't stop her fingers from moving up to cup Josie's cheek, thumb resting underneath her jaw slightly. " Be honest with me, do you like Gavin? Do you actually like him?".
Josie was quiet for a few beats and Penelope waited in anticipation for either the hard reality or a sliver of hope.

" He's a nice guy. Gavin makes me laugh and Lizzie likes him but-"

" But?" Penelope's head titled slightly her thumb moving in coaxing motions to sooth out obvious tension from Josie's body as she struggled to get the words she wanted to say out.

" He's not you".

The words came out so soft that if Penelope wasn't so close to Josie, she was almost certain that she would've missed it. Her fingers moved up in destination, wiping the tears from Josie's eyes and Penelope bit down on her lip to keep her own emotions in check.

" Right now in this very moment, what do you want?".

Josie leaned into Penelope's touch letting out a shaky breath before slowly bringing her gaze back up and it was the venerability in those brown pools that made Penelope's heart clench.

" You" Josie eventually breathed out in a shaky breath that seemed more of relief than nervousness, as if she was finally getting a huge weight off her chest. There was silence between the two and eventually Penelope was the one to lean forward and press a soft kiss against Josie's cheek despite wanting to claim her lips.

She knew better.

Kissing Josie like she wanted and taking her back to her room after that hushed confession would simply be emotion based with the same results as before and Penelope had grown tired of the little routine between because she knew what she wanted. The question was if Josie actually wanted the same.

Instead of pulling Josie back into her embrace like she wanted, Penelope pressed a gentle kiss to Josie's nose before taking a step back. " I can't keep doing this Jo Jo" her voice cracked slightly, composure desolving underneath soft brown eyes that meant so much to her.

Penelope wanted Josie to stop running, to stop spending so much time pleasing someone that would never actually be pleased. It was clear Josie was never over Penelope despite Lizzie's obvious push to get her twin over someone by getting underneath someone else. The only thing mattered was what Josie did after the confession otherwise none of the conversation mattered and judging from Josie's face, she knew that too.

" If you want me like you say then fight for me. Put yourself first for once".