Dear diary
Today is April the 2nd 1995 once in a million I’m writing to you, its seem though your my only dark shadow with me in this lonely world. It feels like in just a minute my life has torn apart so rapidly in a blink. But as they say ‘every action has a consequence’. I still wish I had that life with family, friends and love near me but destiny had already made the decision. Life has so many burdens on me and I want to give up diary, you hear quotes like “live on “,”have faith in yourself” but not me, I can’t handle this anymore I’m sick and tired of it. This will be the last time I will writing to you dear diary, I’m sorry. You know you are the only close thing to me who would understand me and my feelings. If there were any secrets to tell, you would be the first one to know. I liked how I would spill it all to you and you would listen to every single bit. Although I will miss mum and dad their cuddles and support. I will miss little Sam and his naughty behaviour. I will miss Maya and Sonia so much, you know diary they’ve always be with me in time of need. I would shop around till death like all mad teenage girls I suppose but we were best friends of the bestest, you know that. We three were friends since birth; it was an amazing lifetime sticking around with them. If we ever saw anything with threesome we would name it our names like the power puff girls.Unfortunatley I’m deciding to leave this world the thought of suicide came into the devilish mind of mine. What goes into my mind never comes out when I need answers, it would stay in there and when the bad timing comes the idea would popup and that would make the whole thing upside down. Oh and how could I forget to tell you the gossip for this week, Rahul asked me out ‘hmmmm’ pretty amazing isn’t it I mean a goody good girl getting asked out by the most popular kid in college , amazes me. Then Maya and Sonia kept annoying me about it, you know what I said diary, a simple ‘no’ because I know that if I said yes it will create many problems. Anyways I’m not allowed boyfriends and it’s probably a dare like they always do so I don’t care that much ,but Rahul is pretty cool though but doesn’t mean I’ll fall for him. But sometimes I wished I was allowed to be friends with guys you know rather than sticking around with Maya and Sonia, but doesn’t mean I hate hanging out with them just sometimes it gets too much. So here I am where destiny has put me exactly where I did not want to be, ‘in the dark, alone world’. With no one on my side, no one to be here holding my hand and giving me support when this is the time where I need them all the most, to give me light. Why is it that when you don’t need any one there would be there with you but when in time of need, no one is there for you and you feel suffocated and lost you need their help . I am getting cautious and worried for what I will be doing next, I would leave it to god but in this situation I don’t need god’s help I need to think and think hard. I have so much over my roof I feel like I just want it all to fall on me. I wish someone was there to grab it front of me maybe Rahul ‘dream on Riya’ that would never happen I know. Anyway today was the horrid day where the puzzles went scrambled and I was lost that’s why I am writing to you, for the last time. As u know I’m bit naughty myself not just Sam and when the threesome is together as 1 it creates ‘masti’ (fun) oh and plus problems but we three just deal with it calmly. However in my situation there is no one to discuss it with Maya is gone to India for her uncle’s marriage and Sonia’s parents won’t allow her to be my friend anymore for what I have sinned and done ,Maya doesn’t know about this whole ‘incident ‘with me . I will tell her sometime soon but without having my better half’s with me I feel so incomplete, I need them in a time like this. Moving on further Rahul and I kind of hit it off one night but it wasn’t my fault somebody poured vodka in my orange juice and I did what I wasn’t supposed to do … After that night I spoke with Maya and Sonia and they were disgusted with me even though they didn’t understand that it wasn’t my fault . They came up with the weirdest idea anyone could ever think of, running away from home while carrying Rahul’s child in me. Yes I’m pregnant and this all was an accident, a horrible accident. The most thing that amazed and shocked me was the person who I barely who knew he could’ve been so trusting and the two best friends I had known all my life could be so deceiving .They made a promise but a promise for a fun, they didn’t stand by me but walked away and while they walking away they were pulling our memories with them. From this friendship departure I learnt something new, ‘even strangers are like ours ‘All the fun times we had together gone in a dust, away far away. As I told you diary that Maya had gone to India for her uncles wedding, I lied. She left because her parents and my parents had a massive fight just after the day of the night. since Maya ,Sonia and I were best buddies so was our parents it was all perfect , I don’t know what happened .It was like God was punishing me for what I had done last birth and now I’m just a trembling stone , just jumping to every corner going where destiny leads me. So as I was walking slouchy something had clicked into my mind, and it fascinated me. That time when I ignored God away from me and pushed him aside things more worst started to happen. From religious views I learnt ‘ God is always with us ,when though the longest journey’ Dad got a heart attack and for that mum is upset with me and for my ‘accident’. Sonia parents it felt though they were my only enemies they never liked me actually and me too for a fact. Maya, Sonia and I were touring apart and the parents were watching us balling our eyes out, they had no sympathy, they had no HEART. From this departure I learnt ‘your friendship with others doesn’t affect yourself but everyone’. Also earlier that day when I was pushed out of my house to the footpath an horrible earthquake came , I didn’t get hurt but it shook the hospital hard the building had crashed like how the twin towers had crashed. Dad suffered from another severe attack and had passed away that time; the buildings had crushed my mum. I wanted to cry hard out but the thought of I now had no one with me, who would be there to lend a shoulder to watch me cry, to support me, no one. The thing I was shocked with happiness was when they were taking them both out and into the ambulance mum had died holding onto dad’s hand. Maybe this was the sign of commitment and to never let go, and I sign of love. I couldn’t believe it so many things happened in such few days and it made me feel so guilty that everything that has happened was because of me and my stupid mistake. I marched to aunt Cary’s house , she had little Sam and in this small age I don’t think no one should tell him about what has happened to mum and dad. Maybe one day he’ll know and maybe he’ll even start hating me, few bits of crystal ran across my eyes I wiped them and knocked on the door. one thing about aunt Cary she was a bit crack in the head she loses her memory really fats but big incidents like this she will never forget and would drag on about it. “Oh my god it’s the impure, get out of my house” she blasted out with a source of energy it was like her childhood was back; she grabbed her broom and stared shooing me away. “Aunt Cary please listen to me I want to talk to Sam for five minutes”. “Who’s Sam? Little flower “? .I couldn’t be bothered hearing her useless speech I yelled out at her “aunt Cary look there’s harry potter”, in a blink she glanced and started running towards the lamp post yelling out “harry I want your wand pretty please”. Now she stared jumping up and down I think she was trying to impress the ‘lamp post’ that was ‘harry potter ‘to her anyway till she was doing that I sprinted inside. There I saw little Sam sitting there in the dark just glancing over the window as if he was lost as well, just like me. I wish I could take him with me but I have so much puzzles strings that needed to be connected quickly before I lose someone I love again. I slipped my hand into my handbag and got out the letter that I always wanted to give him but never found the right time. He needed this letter to explain why he is in this situation, why he was different from all the others. I popped it onto the table and hopefully he would find it. There standing at the door made me realize I will miss him so much it would be like living without air for human. Then from there I started my journey and now since I met Sam I have courage to fight anything that comes to me. by looking at him made me feel like an actual individual, usually I’m scared of doing anything on my own but when I look at those magical eyes of his , it gives me power and strength. Now I was freaking out in some random way for where I’ll go but I still had the courage inside me. I found out where Rahul lived, I knocked and was hoping someone would open, and if they didn’t I knew exactly what to do and it was a good thought as you know my devilish mind. Someone opened the door very carefully as if I was a murderer, waiting to kill someone; soon enough I found out it was Rahul’s mum. With an upsetting, horrid look she looked at me.”What are you doing here darling? How’s everything going ”and I saw how she looked at me and what she was trying to get the answer for , she wanted to know how was the baby , as if she ever cared about me. “ umm everything going well thank you ,is Rahul inside?”. Her face scrunched up I knew she wanted to say an immediate no and give me that dialogue “he’s very busy, can u leave a message”. Gosh sometimes I even think mum’s should be on the radios. But then somehow she felt pity for me and let me come in, as I took the first step this gust of warmth wind came. That wind was something I could die for it made me feel protected like I was at my own house. Like no devils can pass through me. As I was taking steps these flashbacks came into my mind, all those magnificent memories of a family that I once had. I found Rahul’s room and opened it up and that time I really wished that the door didn’t squeaked but I knew before that, that Rahul was just lying on the bed looking worried out. From that moment looking at what Rahul was up to I found out ‘sometimes women’s are just stronger than men’s’. Rahul greeted me with a smile and I greeted back but I knew that he knew behind my smiling face there were sorrows deep inside and I knew that he would never hurt them. After having a long discussion with him, I felt like a women and I’m pretty sure Rahul thought he was a fully man. We had decided and came down stairs where Mrs Singh was reading the newspaper, and then her face turned into more of pettiness for me. She now knew that my parents had passed away, she came closer and embraced me. From that point onwards I felt as if my mum could be seen through this generous lady. Now this time I was actually just poring myself with tears and they wouldn’t stop I think I needed a bucket for sure. Anyway we sat down and told her about what I and Rahul had decided and this is how it goes. When the baby will be out into this world Rahul’s mum would take care of it till I haven’t finished high school. Till then Rahul will try his hardest to complete his studies and get a job, we know we don’t want to be a burden on mum’s back. When we both are ready we will begin our actual home and when I told mum about it a smile of proudness came onto her. From then on I realized something ‘make many friends and relatives for they are one like you and for one time in their own life they would want your help as well’. I didn’t believe in happy endings but with my life its proven me wrong, because just like in the films there is always a happy ending and if there’s not a happy ending then that’s not ‘the end’ life continues with sorrows and happiness but what I was about to do was the stupidest idea I had ever thought of. Giving up so easily on life when there’s so much more to it. Another stupid idea to never do again putting your cat in the bathtub full of water but still … just like my life story your too has an happy ending.
The end
