Deep Dark Poetry

Silence

I feel it in the darkness
It enfolds me with its thoughts
As I sit there I can hear it
As it says
Your not smart
Your not cool
Your not special
You mean nothing
In the silence I hear these voices
That tell me I should die
They tell me I'm not loved and that I don't belong
To be honest I don't belong
I should die cause I'm not good enough
I know I shouldn't but I want to
My mind tells me to
I want to die, but I don't
I don't because so many people would be devastated 
And so many would wonder why
This silence I live in people can't see
People don't see because its hidden inside and I hide it with my smile and the words
"I'm OK."
But I'm not OK
I'm far from it
These thoughts control me and I can find no way to stop it.
Everyday the voices in that silence control me more and more
Til one day they stop
They stop and all I hear is sad music
All I can see is silent tears you hear someone say I'm in a better place now
But am I really?
They say that I tried
But did I really?
Then there's silence again and your alone with nothing but that silence
There's no voices anymore.