Checkered Psycho

New Beginnings

N̵̡̨̹̰͖͖̠̣͈͔̦̥̻̬̭͇͊̈̎̌͑́͋͒̕͜ͅē̵̖̿̋̍͌̆͂͌͑̐̾̊̑̏͒̇̀͋̈́͒͌͘w̴̨̙͙̰̼̫͙͉̙̪͈̦͋̊̀́̌̋̓͝͠͝ ̸̠̲̙̜̤̺̹̰̔͐́͋̇̅̊̓́̔͑͜ͅb̴̢̡͇͎̪͕͕̲͕̲̞̠̟̫̦̳̹͍̙͚̫͓̾̄e̸̪̬̯̝̗̳͈͎̹̩̠͔̦̰̼̙̭̣̤̅́̔̓͗́̑̓̇̈́͋̌́̀̈͛̈́̈͐̇͘̚ͅͅĝ̶̨͚̗͚͇͇͇̻̼̼̥̭̠͔̞̝̞͚̦̣̜̦̘̯̏̏͜i̵̯̤̥̪̬͕̩̤̬̩͔̟͍͖͚̞̗̜̰̩͖̩̼̋͋̉͗̿̈͗͗͆̆̆͊ͅn̶̨͖̣͇̞̩̖̠̥̅̾̌̎n̶̡̧̧̡̧̛͈͕̮̮̰̫̖̰̳̹̳̣̺̘͎̤̜̪͈̅̈́́̒͝͝i̶̡̢̱̖͇̻͚̜̳̱͈̦̱̻̳̎̂̈̚͜͝͠ņ̴̧̢̛̛̲͚̯̤̻̠̲̘̺̊͗̒̀̃̊̇̐͒̂͌̄͊̈͝͠g̶̢̧̛̙̲̩͉̙͔̲̬̪̯̖͓͓̝̳̮̪͑͊́͊̽̾́̚͝s̶̡̛̘̗͍͇̗͎͓͎̗̯̯̮̭͚̺̠̥͔̟̺͆͌̽͌͌͐̾̊̅̒͑͜

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I stared gleefully at the sight of the blood gliding smoothly down my arm. The decieving smoothness of the blades cold metal skimming through the layers of my skin as I solemnly placed the knife down beside me on the cold tiled floor I sat on.

Looking at the new affliction applied to me by yours truly wouldn't change anything, so I didn't, I wouldn't have too, I could already feel the liquid slowly gushing onto my skin, but my curiosity..

Looking over for my own amusement the blood seemed to be moving in a strange motion, it were as if it were racing itself, just like this time of era.

We humans just race eachother to the top, just trying to reach that goal, for what? A feeling of accomplishment? Triumph? What for, this disgusting race we call ourselves human are foul, we'll do anything to make it up there to higher rank, this mindset of being better than our peers or anyone we come across, thinking we're better than everyone else. Money is just an excuse for our behavior, we're greedy for it, those rich and those poor, what excuse do the rich have? None. We stacked up and created an anarchy against ourselves, just to get to the top, some of the highest political powers created this man slaughter, we'll kill, we'll murder, slaughter, genocidal routes are even taken, in the end, we all just forget what we're even doing it for.

My gaze on the knife quickly fixating back to the new cut on my arm. I sat there, yearning to feel something, anything, even the slightest tinge of pain, that's all I want, All I need, the only thing that will bring me any feeling of satisfaction, happiness, Accomplishment .. nothing.

Of coarse, how hypocritical of me.

Given up on even attempting this once more for the week, I stood up, glaring down at the bloody knife staining the floor. It's done me no purpose, it's useless, like this world we live in, like this Government that controls us, like me even being born in the first place, I never asked for it, My mum and Dad just decided to play around and here I am, a mistake.

Speaking of, Mum died while giving birth, so I was pushed out of a dead corpse for the next few minutes, my dad was so lost from emotional distress he committed suicide by jumping out of the hospital room my mum died, the 18th floor, Room 18R. And now I live with my adopter, Dave.

Dad's suicide letter wrote the exact Time my mum died, and when I was born, And the name My mum had given to me, it was supposed to be a surprise for after she had given birth, alive and well holding me whilst crying on the hospital bed.. but she already knew she was having problems, she wasn't even supposed to be able to bare children, yet here I am. She wasted her last breaths to scream out my name to my father, I hate it, I hate my name, I hate the way it was given to me, I just hate it.

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I call Dave my adopter because he is in no way near what an actual father would be like ,I would never even think of calling him my dad, or even stepdad. He doesn't deserve such a title that would prove any healthy relation to me, he lies, he deceives, he takes advantage of people, manipulating others just seems to be a hobby of his, I would know, I fell victim to it when I once relied on others.