bliss - changjinlix / one-shot

bliss

felix wished that he hated it, watching the way that hyunjin would fit perfectly into changbin's side as they curled up together on movie nights. however as soon as he saw the two bundled up together, he couldn't slow the excessive speed that his heart was beating at. he pretended to hate whenever their lips would meet and the other members would let out a collective groan and seungmin would cover his eyes and yell something about disgusting pda. felix thought it was wrong that he couldn't tear his eyes away.

there were some times though, some happenings that made the australian feel as if he shouldn't hate it. ironically, he hated himself all the more for thinking so deeply into these moments. perhaps the most recent one was two days ago, everything had simply crashed upon felix all at once. he was sleep deprived, homesick, lovesick, sick and there was just one move and one line that he couldn't quite grasp and he broke down.

tears swarmed down his face like a storm surge as he collapsed against the mirror in the lonely practice room and sobs racked his body. it was too much. he was buried in insecurities and thoughts of what he had to do but didn't want to do, his eyes were so glossy that he didn't realise the sheer panic etched on the faces of changbin and hyunjin as they sprinted into the room.

"lixie, lixie it's okay, it's okay we're here," hyunjin shushed him as he immediately took the younger into his arms. felix clung to hyunjin as his tears continued to spill.

"j-jinnie," he managed to splutter out amongst his cries as he felt a hand link with his, he squeezed it weakly as he realised that it must've belonged to changbin.

"it's okay lixie, we're here for you just let it all out okay? we're here, we're not leaving you okay? you're okay," changbin spoke softly as he tried to reassure the sobbing boy. the two lovers cast a worried glance to each other before turning their focus back to felix. it wasn't a secret between the two that they were both irrevocably in love with him but they were just so afraid to ruin everything if he didn't like them back. in this moment however their feelings didn't matter, nothing did except for the fact that felix's tears were slowing down and their comfort seemed to be working. when he finally fell quiet, the three boys sat in a row with their backs to the mirror and felix in the middle.

"lixie are you okay?" hyunjin broke the silence as he rested his head on the younger's shoulder.

"do you want me to answer that honestly?" the australian spoke almost with a bitter tone.

"we just want to make sure you're okay lix, we care about you," changbin said softly and he rubbed small circles on the back of felix's hand.

this almost made felix begin to cry all over again as the thought ran into his mind that he would always care for changbin and hyunjin in a way that they would never care for him, "i know," he choked out eventually, "thank you."

it was silent again for a minute whilst felix sifted through his thoughts to locate exactly how he was going to explain his breakdown to the two, "i think there's a lot of things catching up on me," he started, "i'm sick, i know i'm sick and i know it's because i'm not taking care of my self or eating properly."

hyunjin cut him off, "binnie you can give him some of your little nutrient and vitamin tablets that you have, they're like sweets lix he has these chewy strawberry ones!" he spoke excitedly and felix's heart fluttered.

"yeah i'll get you some when we get home lixie," changbin assured him.

"th-thank you," felix hung his head to hide his blush before continuing, "and i think i miss home as well, i called my mom yesterday and she was talking about just random things like my sister having exams and being worried about it and my dad getting a promotion at work so they all went out to celebrate and just things that i feel like i should be a part of, i should be there for my sister because she's worried and i've been through it and i should be helping her but i'm not," felix rambled quickly.