Stealing Your Heart: One Crime At A Time

-Chapter One-

June 7, 2038
SanFrancisco, CA
Apartment complex

Alex was,,,,,a peculiar type of person when it came to living together in the same apartment complex. Everyday at around 8 am, she'd open her balcony windows and shout:
"RISE AND SHINE MOTHER BITCH!" at literally nobody. Nobody was awake, she knew nobody across the street at the other complex building. For all I know, she's doing it to just piss me off.
And surprisingly, it's working.
I always shut my eyes at around 2 am and woke up at around 11 pm.
But with Alex living RIGHT NEXT TO ME, it was 10-8.
I freaking hated this.
"But Leea, why don't you just move in with Noah?"
Noah is the little snob that bought me this piece of junk shack. It costs roughly $10,000 a month to stay here. Why did he choose this place? I have zero clue.
"But Leea, why do you not live with Noah?"
Listen here Sally, but Noah is way too old for me to be staying with them. Plus they live on the other side of San Fran that has no houses, no buildings to rob, and nowhere to hide. Because aPpArEnTlY in 2030, that entire side of San Francisco was bulldozed to make either a "Dollar Store" super joint or a historical "Witch Town".
Long story short, none of that happened.
So how is Noah living still living there?
Let's just say they paid the construction workers to not bulldoze their house.
Their house, which is near the edge of California, is surrounded by nothing except grass and one dead tree. That's it.
"Leeeeeaaaaa!"
Oh god here we go again.
"Would you be a good little dyke and go down to the laundromat in the basement?" she asked from the balcony. "I washed my clothes last night and forgot to pick them up."
I sat up from the couch and stomped my way over towards the balcony door; swinging it open and throwing my head out to glare at her.
"No" was all I responded with before throwing my head back in, slamming the screen door shut, and trotting back to my couch.

A loud bang on the balcony caused me to stop doing just that.
I swung my head around and was now staring at Alex; who had somehow jumped six and a half feet from her balcony to mine.
"Oh my shit, " was all I could mutter. Her lips were curved into a questionable smile as she just stared at me. I just-I don't wanna ask.
"Miss Yakovna? I didn't give you an option."
I sighed loudly and watched as the little brat opened my door with no hesitation. The slapping of her feet against the wooden floor as she trotted into my current "shack" made me want to go live with Noah.
"Thanks for letting me in, sweetie~." Her voice made me want to strangle her. It sounded like a little kid that just thanked their mommy for cleaning up after they took a creamy shit in the air vent.
"Whatever, just don't eat my takeout from last night." I rubbed my forehead as it throbbed with pain and regrets. "I had a rough day."
Alex laughed. "It sure sounded like it."

June 6, 2038
Somewhere South of San Francisco
9:30 pm

Pop!
Cling!
The sound of claps and cheers from around the table caused my head to spin. Although the lighting around us was horrendous enough, the noises just added to the fuckfest.
Three words.
I am drunk-ish.
I had two shots of vodka, five cups of beer, and half a glass of rum.
I was out of my mind and it wasn't even eleven yet. How weird.

"$&:)$ shut uuuuup! You're too drunk to even taaaaalk!"
What did she say?
"My name's (/&:&:!:, not $&:($, you dumb whooooRE!"
I shook my head.
"What did you say?" I asked the group I was with. "I couldn't hear you."
The girl laughed like a hyena after it got smacked in the sack.
"Leeeaaa? I thoUGht you"-hiccup-"weRe aWaaaAaAAKE?"
My head throbbed.
I wasn't sober to deal with these people.
I grabbed my keys and stood up from the lounge chair; ready to depart from the drunken loonies I call "friends".
Fun fact about each of them:
-Alice is almost 34 years old. Her black hair still looks as good as ever though.
-Dante has bipolar disorder. Some days he is okay and others,,,,,we tend to stay away on those days. He can get violent quickly.
-Eddy has DiD. Edna, Julie, Jack, and Sofi are his smaller counterparts. Edna is 40, Julie is 15, Jack is 12, and Sofi is 8. It was actually kinda cute how Jack and Sofi fought over what hair color Eddy should get. In the end, he chose purple with white highlights.
-Last is,,,,,,do I even want to name them? I can't even remember their name!
Did it start with a U? Or maybe a Y? No, it had to start with D. Or maybe they had a d in their name?
"I'm going to head out now gang." My keys jingled between my fingers. "Thanks for inviting m"-hiccup-"eE!"
Alice smiled; her pearly whites glistening in the light. That's odd. I thought she had yellow teeth.
"SeeeEeE you lAAteRrr!" Her voice drifted off as she fell face first onto the table where our drinks sat.
"That was unexpected, " Dante said, who was the least drunk out of all of us. "I thought she'd at least fall back onto the couch but no."
I chuckled. "Yeah."

The clacking of my boots against the wooden hallway floor as I jumped up and down made my head spin even more.
"Stupid door!"
I rammed my key into its key hole and furiously tried to unlock my door. For some reason, it refused to unlock; and that made my drunken night even better.
"Alex!" Why am I doing this? "Did you lock my door?"
No answer.
Click!
Clack!
My boots rustled against the floorboards as I trotted over to Alex's apartment door; which happened to be at least sixty feet away from my door. Reminder, these new apartment complexes are huge.
"Unlock my door you rotten mage!" I pounded my fist against her door. I'll definitely receive a few noise complaints in the morning, but I didn't care. My door is locked and I need to get inside to watch OITNB! Ruby Rose lookin fiiiiine!
"Hang on!" was the response I somewhat needed to hear.
Rustling and the moving of god knows what came from inside Alex's apartment. I stood at her door for what seemed like an eternity before the door opened.
Alex stood in the doorway wearing a big T and cat socks. That was it. That was her whole outfit for tonight.
I crossed my arms and leaned against her doorway. My eyes peered into hers.
"I didn't know little Alex could show so much skin. I thought your family was 'over the top' religious?"
That's what set her off.
"Shut up you stupid homosexual!" she yelled. "You are sinning against our Lord Jesus! How dare you mock me and my religion!"
Okay, I had to laugh.
"Mocking you?"
I slammed my hand against her doorway as my body towered over her. Her eyes stared into mine as I glared down at her.
"You think you have all of this power, " I began, "because you believe in your god, but in reality"-I grabbed her chin-"you have nothing but anger and hatred."
Alex used her strength to push me away from her.
"Get away from me!" she shouted. "I knew all of you stupid dykes were nothing but child predators and pedophiles!" She pointed at me. "In the power of Jesus Christ I compel you-"
I shut the door before I could hear anymore of her bullshit.
I was done for the night.
Absolutely done.
I pulled out my phone and called up the local Panda.
The phone rang for what seemed like an eternity before someone picked up.
"Hello yes. Is this Panda?"
Jibber Jabber Jibber Jabber.
"I'd like to place an order for Alice Whitte."