You finally got a day off work and you were beyond excited. Since it doesn't pay big bucks you try and work full shifts as much as possible and take very few days off. Your boss is like a mother to you and doesn't like seeing you overwork yourself so she managed to convince you to take at least one day off every two weeks. Your job starts at 8:00 PM and ends at exactly midnight so you always sleep during the day when you're not waiting five tables at once.
Right now you were at a café sipping your coffee and enjoying the beautiful day from inside the small shop. Your best friend worked here so you were a regular customer. "Dude, are you gonna order anything else other than your coffee?" Your best friend Beverly asked you as she placed her hands on her hips with a playful smirk after she slapped your bill on your table. You smirked back. "Are you gonna fuck anyone else other than your boss?" She rolled her eyes with a smile and walked to another table to take their order.
You continued to drink your caffeine until the bill on the table right next to yours was knocked to the ground which caught your curious attention. "You've got to be shittin' me." A grumbled voice said from the table. You turned your head to face the person only to see... a clown? No, seriously, he was dressed head to toe in clown appearance. His whole body was painted in pink body paint, he had a yellow flower on his brown jacket and his curly wig was a mix of blue, pink and purple.
He struggled a lot when trying to pick up his bill with his... robot hands? He almost had the bill in both his metal hands but it slipped out when he tried lifting it up. "FUCK!" It was starting to get pathetic and pitiful so you decided to help the guy out. You got off your chair and squatted to pick up the bill. The clown turned to look at you and that's when you noticed his eyes were just black dots. You snapped yourself out of your observation and smiled at him. The corners of his mouth lifted a bit but shot back down and darted his eyes to the ground to avoid eye contact.
You both stood up at once and you placed his bill back on his table. "I'm-I'm so sorry." He said awkwardly. He was so used to talking to children all the time and even parents but he hated teenagers. But since he spends most of his days in his house with the puppets he never really talked with people his age so he didn't really know how to act.
"Don't be, happens all the time." You said, still smiling. "So how did you get those cyborg hands? Or is it too much of a touchy topic?" He looked down at his own hands. "I, uh, I lost them. It's kinda a long story." You nodded in understanding and then sat back down at your table. He finally looked up from the floor to get a good look at you now that you were looking away. He thought you were very beautiful with your (hair length) (hair color) hair and bright (eye color) eyes. Your smile is what really made him feel nervous. He realized his stare was lingering for too long so he quickly averted his eyes to his table and sat back down.
"I haven't seen you around here before." You asked in full curiosity. You came to this café almost everyday so you often saw familiar people around the small coffee shop. And he was definitely a new face. He hunched over his table and dropped in a couple unknown pills from his pocket into his coffee. "It's my first time. I just had to get away from my crackhead roommates." You lightly smiled, stifling a laugh but wanting to continue the conversation. "I don't really see much of my roommate, I barely see her once a week since she's always out. When I wake up in the morning I know she was there because she leaves beer bottles, used condoms and her underwear and bra on the living room floor."
The clown let out a snicker. "Almost sounds like my roommates. One of them is the biggest perv you'll ever meet who jacks off to anything." You slightly choked on your coffee when you laughed.
"Oh my god, that's also my roommate. She's a pervert and a horny slut. I don't think she's ever masturbated because since she's hot she has sex basically everyday and has a line of people who want to smash her ass."
"Heh. My roommate couldn't get in anyone's pants to save his life."
"How many roommates do you have?"
"Three. You?"
"Just the one. But since I rarely see her I guess I basically live alone."
He sighed with a frown, "That's my dream." You rose a brow and looked over to him. 'His roomates must pretty awful if he wishes he lived alone.' "Why don't you just move out? There's pretty cheap apartments you can get around this area." He looked over to you too and rested his chin on his robotic hand. "I know but they're also my workmates and we have to shoot our show there." Your eyes widened. "Show? What's your show?"
"Quiet time with Blah Blah the Clown. It's a kids show that makes you feel retarded." You spaced out for a second, trying to remember if you've ever heard of it. You nodded to yourself, convinced that you at least heard the name somewhere. "I think I've heard of it but I'm not really up to date with kids shows. They kinda make me feel high. And not the fun kind." You looked back to him and caught his stare but he quickly looked away. "Tell me about it. One of the puppets is a dumb bitch. Literally. It's in her name." He pointed out with the roll of his eyes.
"Well if you ever want to get away from your shitty roommates, I come to this café everyday." You said as you took out your wallet and put the right amount of money in the bill. You gathered your things and stood up from your chair. "Hope I see you around." You said with a smile as you began walking to the exit since you had to get to your car because you had to give your friend Henry a ride to the airport.
Blah Blah watched you go with a sad expression. He didn't want you to leave, he was actually feeling happy for once. He even forced his gross tasting coffee down his throat just to make it seem casual when he talked to you. But now you were walking away. He knew that he could come to the cafe anytime to see you since you just said that you come here a lot. But he didn't want your guys' conversation to end all of a sudden. He wanted to stop you but he didn't know what to say. You were getting closer to the door, he was running out of time.
'Say something. Anything! Just do it! Now!'
"Male prostitutes are underrated!" He blurted out causing you to turn around and laugh. "I never really thought about that." Blah Blah mentally face palmed. You turned around again to leave but he was quick to say something. "Wait! I didn't catch your name."
You turned around with a smirk. "I didn't throw it." Blah Blah gaped at you with a natural pink tinge burning the sides of his face, thank god he was wearing face paint.
( Author chan: If u got that reference I'm giving you a virtual hug )
He watched you exit the door and go towards the parking lot. Your best friend Beverly came up to his table where he immediately asked, "What was that girl/guy's name?" Beverly cringed. "Sorry, I don't think she/he's into wasted clowns. Now can you leave? You're scaring the other customers." He glared up at her. "Do you wanna know what's scary? What I've been putting in my drink for the past fuckin' hour."
He got off his chair and went towards the door. Beverly picked up his bill to make sure he paid the right amount until she didn't see a tip. She snapped her body around to glare at the clown. "Where's my tip asshole?!" "You wouldn't even get a penny for being sold as a prostitute, bitch!" He shouted as he completely left the café.
~
After you dropped off your friend and went home, you searched up the name of Blah Blah's TV show. Instead of watching an episode of his show, you watched an interview about it.
( If it doesn't allow u to open the vid it's just Brandon's blah blah clown video )
You couldn't help but laugh throughout the whole interview. Blah Blah acted so different on the show than what you saw at the café. But something that caught you off guard was his roommates. You thought they were people but they were actually puppets. With no one controlling them.
'He's one strange man. I like it.'
