I'm sorry that I hurt you, darling

It's 2:30am when Louis gets the call.

Louis feels like he should probably pretend he didn't keep his phone next to him since he arrived at the hotel after the concert. He feels like maybe he should take a while to pick up just to pretend he wasn't praying to God for a call. Just one call.

But it all happens to fast.

Louis stares at the screen and his heart shrinks a little. The screen reads "H" as it's been since a week after Louis broke it off with him. And that was about two years ago. He feels his palms sweating and his heart beating like it's about to jump out of his chest.

The picture he added to the contact isn't new as well. It's something that he took three years ago on their last anniversary together. The younger man is laying on what used to be the garden from their old house, wearing a purple sweater and curls falling over his face, one hand hiding his wide smile. Louis can hear his giggle vividly like it happened just yesterday.

His fingers tremble as he reaches for the green sign on the screen and takes his phone to his ear.

"Lou." The husky voice on the other side of the line calls him and it's just enough for Louis to break down. The tears stream down his cheek burning their ways down. "Oh, Louis."

Louis hiccups from how much he's crying. He can't really believe that this moment is happening. Can't believe that all it took for it to happen was a little courage and singing about his heart. He uses the sleeves of the purple sweater he is wearing (the same from the picture) to wipe his eyes, but nothing seems to make him stop crying.

The man doesn't press him into answering, doesn't rush him into saying anything or even stopping the crying. All Louis hears is the sound of his own gasps and the person's heavy breathing. And, God, had he missed that sound.

It takes him a few more minutes to recompose himself. Louis sits on the bed with his back leaning on the wall, his knees pulled up to his chest. He takes a deep breath and lets out in a sweet, sweet voice only he gets to hear "Haz".

"Louis." Harry finally speaks again, his voice sounding a little less husky and, for a moment, Louis could swear there was a little wetness in his voice.

"Hazza, I'm so sorry." Louis whispers, biting the inside of his cheek hard enough to taste blood. "I'm so sorry it took me so long."

If Louis was watching Harry, he would see the smile forming on the corners of Harry's lips, a smile Harry hasn't given for years. "You took your time." He tells him. And, of course, Harry is always so understanding, Louis so doesn't deserve him.

"I don't deserve you." He says it out loud. "I took too long, Harry."

"It's okay." Harry interrupts him, sounding sweeter. Always so sweet.

"It's not, Haz." Louis shakes his head, feeling his heart break inside his chest. "I lost you- how is that okay? If I was brave enough before I wouldn't have lost you- I wouldn't have-"

"I'm here now, Lou." The younger man points out, like he's reminding him this call is happening, their talk is happening.

Louis quiets down. The world is spinning around him and he feels like he might even faint. And he hasn't even had one drink. Louis wants to scream at him, tell him that things aren't fine because he broke him, he left him, he wasn't brave enough to stand up for them and stay with him. But he doesn't. He doesn't scream at him because first of all Harry doesn't deserve it, second of all Louis has no strength for it and third of all: Louis doesn't want to fuck this up again.