Without You

1. The Show Starts

I rehearsed for the last time the lyrics of the songs that seemed most difficult to me and warmed up my vocals, while they put on my makeup before going on stage. Although I had done the same for the past two years, I was still quite nervous before I started.

-Don't move, honey, it's almost there -Diana told me, the girl who took care of me looking like I hadn't had insomnia thinking about the concert.
My father entered the dressing room, altered as usual and with the phone in his hand.

-Your mom wants to talk to you before we start -he said, as if he went up to sing too. Don't delay, 7 minutes left.
He put the phone in my left hand and I answered trying not to move an inch.
-Hi mommy, how are you?
-Very good son, you? Your father told me that you're almost starting, good luck.
-Thanks mom, I'm nervous as always but it will work out well, I just hope I don't slip on the stage, they said it was raining - i've only visited London once and it didn't rain, I loved to do concerts with rain even if it was something dangerous.
-I hope not, my love, take care of yourself, I don't want you to get sick -she said, seeming worried, but that was mom.
My father signaled me from the door telling me to hang up the phone. I had never literally seen my father calm, it seemed like he was in a hurry all the time.

-I have to go, mom, how are Dany and Jack?
Dany was my sister that was older by 2 years, she lived with my mom and my twin brother Jack in New York since my parents were separated.
-All right, she's studying a lot, sometimes she gets too tired but she'll be fine. Your brother is doing what he wants as always. I love you and have fun up there.
-Always. I love you mama.
I hung up the phone. Diana had already finished her work and now there was only up to the stage. I left with my head raised high, repeating in my mind that everything would be fine. My father, as usual, walked me to the stairs of the stage before i went to go out and sing.
-It's the last concert of this tour, Louis, there are almost 30,000 people outside, you have to give everything 100% of yourself. it all depends on your success in this concert that you continue to grow in music -he said, seeming more like a threat. He loved to give me more reasons to stress and put me under pressure before a concert, but I was already used to it.
While I nodded to everything my father said, I listened louder and louder to the yelling of the crowd, prepared for the show. Those screams were what ironically always took my nerves away.
My family knew that I should do this when they realized that I get more nervous if one person sees me sing than 30,000.
My father took me by the shoulders to look directly at him when we reached the back of the stage.

-I'm proud of you son, now get in there and leave your heart on stage.
They put all the audio equipment on me, gave me the microphone, I snorted a little and went on stage. There was a big curtain in front of me that would fall at my signal, I just wanted to enjoy the excitement a little more.

"LOUIS, LOUIS, LOUIS, LOUIS, LOUIS, LOUIS, LOUIS, LOUIS!"

And I started ...

It was the best concert in my life, I had made a mistake but nobody had noticed.
After a long and exhausting day of press, interviews, meet and greets with fans, autographs and listening to my father every day giving me orders as my producer and representative, I was finally able to go to my mother's house to celebrate my birthday and Christmas.

Jack was waiting for me at the door of my mother's house, I got out of the truck in which they brought me from the airport and I saw him shaking his hand in the air.

-What a great concert, brother! -he shouted as I pulled my luggage from the trunk-, this time you impressed me, and you know that is not easy.
I walked towards him with three suitcases.
-Said the one who got excited when he knew he could have a pet raccoon -I replied and laughed a little. He gave me a hug without giving me time to drop my bags.
-I missed you Lou.
-You could have come with me on the tour -I said, waiting for him to open the door.
-And spend all that time with dad? No thanks! -he exclaimed with a smile.
I had not visited my mother's house for a while, she changed some things; there was no longer that brown carpet that I hated (mostly because I always tripped over it), the new curtains now allowed more light to enter the room. There was a different aroma that made me feel very much at peace, and it reminded me of my childhood, when everything was calm and I woke up on Saturdays to have breakfast the hot crossedbuns that Mom had made.

-Dany, he's here! -Mom shouted, she looked excited -son, you've finally arrived, they told me that you would arrive at 11 this morning and it's almost 1 in the afternoon. She gave me a hug and kissed me on the cheek leaving a lipstick mark.
-There were a lot of fans at the airport mom, so it took us a little longer to pass.
I left my bags in the guest room and listened outside my sister's room to her yawns, she was just waking up.
-Why are you making so much noise, Im trying to sleep -she said, walking down the hall still in her pajamas.
-I'm glad to see you too, Dany! -I exclaimed going out into the hall.
-Good morning, kiddo. -she kept calling me that, although in a week it would be my 18th birthday-. I'm glad you came back, I missed you.
She approached quietly and in no hurry to give me a hug. Her head reached my chest and I could put my chin on her head feeling her hair, it smelled like coconut.

I was going to spend a whole month at mom's house and then return with my brother to dad's house and continue composing songs for the new album. They were the best vacation for me after two years of nothing but work, I planned to enjoy them so much.