Revival of Senshi

Chapter Two

I groaned and put on an aggravated expression. Sometimes my Endymion couldn't take a hint, and that was the main thing that Seiya had over him. At least she could take the hint that I wanted to be left alone, unlike King Endymion. Endymion used to make my heart beat ten times faster than it usually would, but that was in the years before I met Seiya and found a love that destiny didn't entail me to have. That there was the problem, and that's what Endymion wouldn't understand - that maybe, just maybe, I didn't want something that was set out for me, a concrete love that was forced and bestowed upon me because the millenia before me had done it that way. I just couldn't take being blinded by some foolish destiny that I disliked intensely and didn't want at all, not to mention a few people not allowing me to dismiss it as something foolish and ignorable.

I looked at Mamoru Chiba with an expression of distaste - I simply couldn't stand how he acted towards me. I'd gotten rid of my whole being for him, stopped being so clumsy and as much of a crybaby, and he wouldn't let me move on to love somebody else? What kind of world do we live in if women can't lose their love for a man gradually, I don't know. Glowering at him, I left the room with the depressed, lonely letter sitting on my bed, not with a care if he read it or not. He could read it, and I didn't care how much it would possibly hurt him, majorly because I felt that he deserved it after how much destiny had forced us together. In fact, I almost felt it was a requirement for him to read it. He wouldn't gain any understanding of why I was spending less time with him these days if he refused to even bat an eyelid at it.

I frowned at Minako as she walked by, excited about the Starlights and Kakyū coming to the castle. She was babbling to Ami about it without taking a single breath as I walked past her, wondering what caused such an excited atmosphere on her side. Was she longing for Yaten, or was it just that she was excited to see our fellow senshi after assisting in their revival? And I saw Ami blush as I caught the tail end of their conversation - was it that she'd made a mistake in a diagnosis, or was she too clamouring for one of the Starlights? I wanted to butt into the conversation, but decided against it and just walked right by them. I shouldn't have given up being crybaby Usagi for destiny - if I didn't, I'd at least have some remnant of a sense of fun. Something told me I'd need one in future, just to be able to put up with my beautiful Kinmokusei, Seiya. Something told me that she and I would end up bumping into each other awfully soon, even sooner than I had first anticipated, so to speak.

To go with tradition, I walked to the kitchen to talk to Mako - or Jupiter, if I was being much more formal towards her - about the preparations being made in the kitchen for the Starlights' arrival. I was kind of jealous that she had gotten her love, and the fact that destiny had ended up permitting her to do so. I wished that destiny, in all of its glorified light, would let me have Seiya, no matter what the cost, whatever that cost may be. I just wanted her - couldn't Mamo-chan and the rest see that? I had only married Mamoru for destiny, nothing more. Something about that realisation made something ignite inside me, something deeper than the feeling of hope - I felt like myself again, even if that meant I felt like the silly bun head that married a complete and utter jerk for the sake of destiny.

That was the fact. I wasn't even totally sure that I wanted him anymore. Maybe I was a sick individual, as Haruka kept telling me. Maybe I shouldn't feel such a strong connection to that Starlight. But, Haruka should understand, she was a lesbian and married Michiru for their beautiful love and nothing but that. If only that was the reason why I married Mamoru Chiba...

"Hey, Usagi?" Makoto said, interrupting my train of thought. "Are you alright? You don't really seem that present in the moment." She poked me on my left arm, just to make sure I was still somewhat alive.

I flinched, with the shock of her poking me filling my entire being. "I-I... I'm fine, Mako. Thank you for your concern. I'm just... Thinking."

"You can tell me, Usagi. I know you. The old Usagi I know and love wouldn't be so vague. She'd tell me what was on her mind without even realising she said a thing," she told me. It was told to me in a voice that sounded like it was talking to a small child.

"I..." The shock of her telling me had nearly paralyzed me in the form of speech. "I... It's nothing, Mako. I'm just... thinking about somebody."

"Oooh! Who are you possibly thinking about?" She had hearts in her eyes and spun around frantically. "Is it a boy? If so, which boy?!" She demanded, and then noticed me gazing off into the distance. "Oh, I think I know! Is it a girl that maybe cross-dresses as a man? Is it one of the Lights, potentially? Is it Seiya?"

"Yes... One partner that destiny just wouldn't permit me to have..." I mumbled sadly. "How did you guess, Mako? I didn't know that you knew me that well..."

"Well, of course I know my amazing friend very well," Makoto replied with a smile. "After all, if I didn't, how would I ever be able to help you with your love problems?" She placed a soft hand on my shoulder. "It's going to be alright, Usagi, trust me. Remember, your happiness is my number one priority. Okay? You're my best friend, and the one I'm closest to out of all of the Inners. Of course I think you're fabulous. You just need to believe in yourself." She smiled softly at me. "You need to do that from the bottom of your heart, okay? If you need me, I'm always here."