Confession.

Secrets. We all have them. Buried, deep down inside the corners of our hearts. It's natural. It's what truly makes us human. All of us. Every single one, we've done something, something that we regret. Something that haunts us. It's part of who we are. We make mistakes, we screw up. It's known as life.

They say, "tomorrow will be better". But the question is, will it? For some people theres hope. For others, it's gone. A small word indeed, but have you ever wondered how much meaning it has?People spend their whole life, just on the basis of this one word. One word. four letters. But what do you do when you cant rely on hope anymore? do you die? No. You become empty.

That is how I've become. It hurts. So I shut it off.That's the only way you can survive. Being cold and hard. Because if you let your self fall, the fear of losing that person eats you from the inside.

My name is Emily Cole and I need to be saved.

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Dear Henry,

I don't know how to say this, But I miss you Henry. If it weren't for me. you would've been here . I'm sorry Henry. Im so so sorry. You didn't deserve this...

　

He was gone. Henry was gone. He wasnt here anymore. He was never coming back. And it was my fault. All my fault. I stared at the paper. The word staring back at me. I wished, oh how I wished that he could see this.But he couldnt. If only I hadnt been so stupid. If only I hadn't done what I did that night.

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It was a cold December morning. Everything was covered with layers of white. As I stepped out of my house, the winter breeze came in contact with my skin. It felt good. I ran my hand through my dark hair, and shut my hazel eyes. Letting the cold air make my senses go numb.

I had promised my self, I wouldnt cry. I've cried too much these past months. I was done hiding. I needed to face the fact that Henry was gone. I had to face the judging stares of the kids at our school.

Blinking back the tears, I took a deep breath and walked through the black gates. Every part of me, every limb, every muscle, wanted to turn around and walk back home, curl under the sheets and be cut off from the world. But instead, I walked forward. Each step draining energy from my body.

School wasnt the same without Henry. Everyday, everything reminded me of him. It felt odd. Walking through the hallways alone. Without henry. The halls hadn't changed much. The pastel yellow walls were still covered with posters of the mascot and the swimmmng team, there were registration papers lined up neatly on the notice boards. The lockers were covered in a dull navy blue colour. I hated it. Everything was exactly how I remembered it, In every memory I had with Henry. How he never failed to make me smile. Or how I use to laugh at his lame jokes. Every memory, every minute, spent with him I wanted to remember, but all it did was make me drown in guilt. It hurt. To think I wouldn't have anyone to relive those memories with.

As I walked up to my locker, my eyes shifted to the one next to mine. It belonged to Henry. I ran my finger tips over the lock. The cold metal burned against my skin. 5.7.09. That was his locker combination. It was the day we had met. I felt my eyes water up as the memories came flooding back again. No. I wont cry. I refuse to cry. I am not weak. I am not vulnerable.I am strong. Lies. All lies. I'm breaking.

I rushed to the class room. A few people mumbled a few sorry's, others just sent me sympathetic smiles. I just walked towards the classroom, with my head down. Not wanting to see the sorry expressions on the faces of people I didnt know. They weren't sorry. They didnt care.

It was obvious they knew about Henry's death. But they knew nothing about what happened that night. Nothing.

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A/N; hey guys so this is my new story! im really excited to write this. this chapter was sort of an epilogue. the actual chapter will be posted somewhere around the first week of december. depending on when i finish the book. I know I know a whole two months, :s but the good thing is that there will be faster updates! so yaaay :D I love you all <3 see you soon :)

Ramyy :) xx