The Diary of a Sex Freak.

Winters fault

Do you remember in December when the air began to chill
How you walked a bit closer to me on the way home down those dark and lonely streets
Our hands were so close, fingers twisting in the night hoping to grapple onto one another but alas they were dancing solo.
Never have I ever wanted something, someone, so badly before.
It aches in my bones and deep down to my soul.
I quaked with each step, fearing a departure that I knew would always end with another " Hello "
But times were fading fast and this wasn't just another moment.
It wasn't the same day over and over again that we've been living since we first met on the corner of Saint and Living.
Forever amused by the titles bestowed to our space, where our two souls met and began the dance of a lifetime.
I was dying inside, crushed by the weight of the world and everything that could have gone wrong - had gone wrong.
I was alone. Desperately searching for something to feel like home.
Somewhere I could release my inner demons, allow them to run free.
But every time I looked around, it was only me.
Until there was you.
Standing there under the Saint's street sign, a beacon of light.
A thunderous roar of lightning crashing down to wake me from the terrors I was ill consumed with.
And like that you lit the way.
Lost; afraid ; no you were neither.
An adventurer scouting your next mountain to scale, valley to cross or ocean to swim.
Your brown eyes locked on to my green and from there we planted our roots, furnishing the soil with as much nutrients as it could handle.
But never once did you look away.
From out of state, you claimed.
Your accent told me that enough.
The rough way you said my name sent chills through my spine and how any R could roll from
Your tongue like a kiss from the heavens.
I waited and waited hoping you'd make a move on me, but every time we fell short on the conversations and allowed the world to surround us with it's music.
But not tonight. No, not anymore will I walk beside you as just a companion.
I've been alone for so long, scared to approach but the world had given me its signs to go ahead and I was not slowing with caution.
With every step a fresh cushion of snow padded and crunched beneath our shoes.
The paled yellow of the street lamps bathed the way with an iridescent bronze that blinded the streets but illuminated the night.
Stars shown From above, almost as if they were watching and waiting for me to make a move.
The night was brilliant, beautiful and silenced.
Every noise that was once humming with life
Absorbed into the stacks of white brilliance
Frozen in time I saw you,
As I had standing there on the street the first time we met, and I knew the world was allowing me my moment to lean forward, to warm your lips with mine and save them from the bitter and chilling night air.
As I moved closer, and stopped you with the moment itself within the deafening silence of the night I could hear your heart racing like a humming bird in the midst of a springs flourish
Your eyes shined with a brightness that dulled the galaxies having over our heads, and your lips played - twisting around your teeth as smiled something so innocent and pure, the snow around us seemed tainted.
My hands slid around your waist, your long winter jacket providing cover for my arm to pull you close, as you stumbled and I caught you - you looked up at me before my lips met yours and for a moment the world around us became a symphony that reached the high peak of a chase, swirling and twirling around inside my mind. Colors bursting forth, new ones unknown to man but somehow I can see them. And just as the chase begins, and the excitement is rushing in your veins, blood flowing, heart flying, head churning and stomach whirling , just as it all
Begins. It comes to a slow and steady crawl, where the finish line is always in sight but the journey there is paved with pauses.
As we pull apart, the night now seeming a little less
Dark and the world a little less cold. the heat rose between us, and dissipated into the night the only proof of our fiery passion besides the redness implanted on our skin.
You stumbled for the words to say, I could tell that much. I was already head in deep so when I said I had feelings and you smiled, my heart stammered.
As you moved closer and kissed me with a spark of embers I knew that time stood still; but that the future was imminent.
You turned from me, your shoes creaking with the snow taking a few steps towards your home.
Smiling at what could have been I turn toward my own empty bed and begin walking.
Off the silent blanket of the night air your voice trialed to me in the easiest of melodies
"arnt you coming home with me?"
I turn to you there behind me, holding out your hand and for the second time in the winters playground time stands still.