When Reality Starts to Falter (SPN AU FANFIC) Finished!

Part Nine

Sitting on the bed in Jensen's spare room, you fidget with some of the notes and drawings from the nightstand. You've never really thought of yourself as a sensitive person, or someone that would cry over something as simple as cute pictures and sweet notes. With pressure, and years of pushing things down, a breaking point or limit is inevitable.

The door creaks as it opens, and while you know you haven't done anything wrong, you drop the papers and brush the tears away in one swipe. Jensen smiles as he makes his way in, "well, aren't you adorable?" he says, sitting on the edge of the bed.

A laugh breaks out of you - the kind of laugh that sounds more like a cough wearing a smile. A chuckle, really, that means more than a full, rolling on the floor, bellowing laughter. "I'm glad you think so," you smile as he gently places a hand on your blanket covered leg, shuffling a bit closer.

"You okay?" he asks in a soft whisper.

Accidentally shaking your head just slightly at first, you belt out a 'yes' to accommodate.

That's not very convincing," he says with a small laugh, rubbing your ankle.

Taking in a deep breath, you bring your eyes up to his. They have a hint of gold sparkling in them as the crinkle into a small smile, and you suddenly feel very vulnerable. Even more so than your first nude scene in Code Red.

You hardly even know Jensen, but somehow he's gotten you to spill about your break ups with Greg and Jared. The way things happened with Jared was really something you thought you were taking to your grave. He's somehow gotten you to agree with staying at his place until you found your own, or you got kicked off the show for causing drama, whatever happened first. The only thing you haven't told him about yet is your 'issue' when it comes to acting, and playing characters. That's what Jared had called it, an 'issue'.

It's only a matter of time before that starts spilling out, too. What would he do with that information? He's protected you thus far; showed you sympathy when you confided in him about Greg, he stood up for you when it came to Jared and he gave you a bed to sleep in when he found out you'd been sleeping in your car.

So where is this uneasiness coming from? Why is your stomach doing flips and somersaults? Why are you aching to go - to be alone? Why can't your mind and heart agree that he is one of the good ones? But, is he?

Why, when there's been plenty of evidence to show that he's not going to hurt you like you've been hurt in the past, do you feel like it's an act? What if everything he's doing is just to - to get something from you? And what happens when he gets it?

His silky, tired voice pulls you out of your head, "Y/N?"

You jerk your eyes up to his, seeing that he's sitting right by your side now, hand on your arm. "Huh?" you get out, blinking your eyes quickly. Are you dreaming? Everything that's happened - is that real?

"How 'bout some food?" he offers with a weak smile, pulling you out of your thoughts yet again.

"Hm," you hum. He tilts his head to the side, keeping his smile. "Sure," you say, shaking your head once to get rid of all of the thoughts.

"That's my girl," he says, patting your leg. You immediately feel off, but don't know why. When he stands, he shakes his head with a laugh, "this might sound weird," he starts, but clears his throat.

"What?" you ask gently, sitting up straight to toss the blankets to the side.

"Well, you might think this is crazy," he says with a low chuckle. "But, uh, when you play a character for so long... they, um," he says, removing his eyes from yours and planting them on the floor.