As I witness the light slowly fading, I wonder what is happening. Is this the end? Is this what it feels like? I awake to find my father by my side, tears rushing down his face. He was saying something to me but I couldn't hear anything. Suddenly the world became a black canvas, painted across my mind. Why did I do this? Why did I make my father go through all of this heart-wrenching pain.
I woke up the next day in a hospital bed, sadly it was all too familiar. I looked around and saw my dad slouched in a chair. I tried to reach out to him but pain surged though my arms which were covered in white hospital bandages. I knew what hid beneath them. Scars. Many many scars. Why? All this pain is because of me cutting. Everytime I cut it brings me relief, cutting is my drug, my obsession. I hated myself for doing this, for hurting my father when all he showed me was love and compassion. I saw my father stir in his chair.
"Hey sweetie, are you okay? Are you in any pain? Should I get the nurse?" he asked.
"I'm fine, just a little pain in my arms but I'm used to it." I immediately regretted those last words 'I am used to it'. My father looked at me for a brief moment with pain in his eyes but he quickly looked away.
"The doctors said you can go home in a couple of hours." my dad stated.
"Okay... Did I miss anything important?" I asked.
"No, nothing happened." he replied. A few hours later I was discharged from hospital so my dad and I made our way home.
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Very short I know but I just wanted to ask, thoughts? Ideas? Anything?
Please vote and comment!
- Rae x
