My Worse Memories

Chapter 1.

Chapter 1.

"I mean, after Justin.. I don't want you to leave me the way he did.. I'm just scared." I said as a tear fell from my eye. He wiped it away and kissed my cheek bone. "Don't be. I would never pull the bullshit that he did with you. I'm always going to be here by your side. I'll never leave; no matter the cost." I wore a crooked smile as he moved to my lips and kisses me gently. His friends Brock and Randy came back from the breakfast line and yelled "Get it, Alec!" Of course they'd be the asses to say that. He knows how much I hate when someone ruins shit like that, but he slowly laughed and pulled away reaching for my hand through my jacket's sleeve. He held the side of my face and slid his thumb over my cheek and whispered "Are you okay, sweetheart?" "I'll be fine." I said almost too gentle for him to hear. He smiled and kissed my forehead, then the bell for homeroom rang. We talked together by my classroom door until the late bell rang and when it did I gave Alec a goodbye-for-now kiss that might have left him smiling and I ran off to first period, Geometry. I talked to Devi and Valerie about this morning with Alec and I told them what I didn't get the chance to tell him. "I'm so terrified that he's going to leave me like them other three times before. It's like this time I know not to fall in love again. Like my body's holding me back for my own good and I don't want it to. I wanna be happy with him like every other time. I want to fall again; I want to trust him." I said when Devi responded with "Just tell him how you're feeling. Tell him about the wall, tell him about the trust issues and everything. You need to remember to include how the previous breakups didn't help with how you're feeling right now too. Don't whimper down; I want you happy." The class went by quickly probably only because right now, between first period and the bell for second, is for me to debate on this matter. I don't want to ruin how happy he is. I don't want this tight rope our relationship seems to be walking on to break. I.. The bell rang, shattered my thoughts, and made my stomach drop. I walked down the hall and stopped where we meet usually. "So, I've been thinking a lot lately.." he said and that seemed to send me a sick-to-my-stomach feeling. "Yeahh?" I asked unpatiently. "I know you've been really scared about losing me, but with my last girlfriend it's hard working through this.. I mean, she was my first love. She took my virginaty, everything." "I know, but I'm not her. I'm not going to do what she's done. I'm here to stay." I said. He let a few tears go as he said "I just.." "Let's go!" the teachers yelled keeping a close eye on us two. "I'm sorry, I need to go to class. I can text you and we can talk." I said quickly and brushed by him as I started crying. I walked through the double doors only to hear "GURL, WHY YOU CRYIN'?!!" from some bitchy bullying black girls of course. I ignored them and walked pass to my english class. I sat down in my desk and pulled out my phone wiping tears away and went to his contact I.D. and selected the send message option. "Are you trying to break up with me of something?" Message sent. And not wanting to after about 10 mintues without a reply I added "I mean, I'll understand.." I shoved my phone back in my jacket's pocket and as soon as I did. His contact name, "Babe", popped up. I opened it and it said "I just.. I don't know." I sent back "Text me when you do then." I went suffering until forth period when I got a text from him that said "I don't want to do this anymore."