I've been looking at her for like godamn knows how long.
I'm feeling so low, jealous and agraviated but I just can't, it's her you know.
"You sure you're ok about it?" napabaling ako kay ryan at ngumiti ng pilit, napatingin nadin ako sa pamilya kong kasama ko sa sala nakaupo at inaantay sya.
"Come on Jan, you can say no. 3 hours pa before the said event!" nanunudyo nya'ng sabi
"No it's fine really" I let no emotions etched in me, I know any time maiiyak na ko sino ba naman ang hindi diba?
"No, it is not fine" kalmado nyang sabi
Eto na, tsk. Do.Not.Cry Jan Okay, it's just an event I thought. I'm convincing my self, I've been debating with my system since the day he asked her.
"Tell me you're jealous, come on. Her with him?" ano bang gusto nito palabasin?
But I let no words escape from me, I know my self too well. When she's involve I'm feeling weak because I'm no match and it hurts.
He didn't bother texting me since he woke up, excited sa lakad? No jan come on he's busy, you know that!
Patuloy lang si ryan sa panunudyo, I don't know why he keeps on fucking with my mind, I'm fucked up emotionally and they can see that, it's visible but I'm trying not to.
"He's an ass for not asking you by the way" kibit balikat nyang sinabi ngunit di na nakatingin saken
"You know that their family had sponsored that event right? So that means-
"Damnit! Shut up will you? I've been trying real hard, I've been fighting with my self for the last couple of days, so please stop agonizing people" that's it! I can't endure the pain anymore, I'm burdened with it.
I felt my eyes watered, napatingin sila tita at parents ko sakin while ryan, oh that asshole ryan's smirking and not giving me a glace at all.
I am so pissed that I just wanted to cry and cry 'til the last drop of my tears hurt no more.
I immedietly run towards the stairs and locked my self inside my room. There, I cry and cried my heart out, in the corner of my dark lifeless room.
I'm nothing but an average girl, nothing special about me. At the age of 18 I'm 5'5 tall, got a big-built body structure, not so palm-size face, got some pimples 'cause of adolescense and non existing. Been trying to fit in but sadly I can't.
But her, she outstand the most. Beautiful, sexy, always on top, very competitive sports and acads, had alot of friends and every man's dream. No doubt Im so envious and threatened too.
Narinig kong may pumalakpak sa baba, maybe they are about to go. I slowly creeped out of my room para sumilip sa my hagdan kung anong itsura nya.
Damn! Wrong move Jan. There, I saw how beautifully gorgeous she is, she's shining like sunlight. Her white skin's glowing, her hair curled like a princess that gives a lot of attention to her lacey-skyblue choker necklace and her dress, tube cut velvety off-white dress that ends up to her mid thigh that matches her pumps and purse. I saw how every one looked at her admiringly. That goes for him too, gawking and dreamingly looking at her.
I clenched my chest, there's a stinging pain still. I felt nothing but self pity. Her self-esteem is 100 and mine is nada, I don't usually go out kasi ayokong may nakakakita saken, i hate attention, ayokong tinitingnan nila ako dahil lalaitin nila ako, I know for my self na totoo and sinasabi nila, but still hurts. Kahit lumabas saglit para tumingin tingin sa labas I don't want, I can't.
