Her True Feelings

Chapter 1

Hi. I'm Miranda Heward. I'm just your typical teenage girl. Brown hair with green/blue eyes. 5'6 feet tall. Same old same old. But there's more to it than that. Let's rewind the clock to June 2018, where it all began.

"I don't know what I would do without you Mandy. I love you sweetheart, I'll be back soon, I promise."

The last words my grandpa ever spoke to me on June 23, 2018. The only promise he ever broke to me. Two days later on June 25, 2018, he was gone. You see, in December of 2017 my grandfather Glenn was diagnosed with Colon Cancer. He did the treatments and everything. We thought he was getting better but he was getting worse and a lot weaker.

He survived for 7 months with it, until he went to the hospital by ambulance on June 23, 2018. You see, people normally say people pass away around someone's birthday. When he passed, he passed exactly one week before my birthday. The most important person to me left this world just before my birthday.

I wasn't there when he passed either. My father got a call at 5 in the morning from his brother saying that my grandpa didn't have much time left and that he better come to Topeka Kansas to see him one last time. I was going to go with him but my mother thought that it would be too hard on me. So I was forced to stay home. I called my grandma just hours before he passed on and told her I loved her and for her to tell grandpa I love him too.

At 11 in the morning we get the call. He's gone. I cried days on end. Still do to be honest with you. Yes the news hit everyone hard but I was hit so hard it wrecked me. I blame myself for not being there with him, thinking maybe something would have been different.

And here I am, over a year later, hiding all my feelings. And the worst part, I can't talk to anyone about it.

Now let's skip to July 2019. I'm sure most people are familiar with Vine icons Sam and Colby. Well, I found their YouTube page and started watching all of their videos. They made me smile and laugh genuinely for the first time in a year. So I began watching them daily, on their duo channel and on their personal channels.

Something about them made me laugh and smile and feel happy for once. Could it be that they're from Kansas like I am? Or could it be that they're living their dreams and happy about what they do? Definitely the latter one.

Watching Sam and Colby became a regular thing for me to do when I was bored or just wanted to smile. I have no doubt in my mind that they are a reason I stopped cutting. The other would be the band Why Don't We.

But we'll save them for another chapter. First, I'll go into more detail with my day to day life and the struggles I face.

A/n-
Yes this does happen. All of this and the future chapters have happened in real life, my life.