Poems In The Moment

Do You Wanna See What Depression Looks Like? 9/23/2019

Do you wanna see what depression looks like?
Take the happiest girl in the world and hear her story.
Brain damaged dad.
Inconvenienced mom.
Insecurities like a motherfucker.
Stressed beyond belief.
No help.
No way out.
She's drowning.
But she smiles.
Cause that's all she knows to do.
Smile so they don't know,
That inside her beautiful brain,
She's a broken mess.

You Wanna Know What Depression Looks Like?
Ask the happy girl one simple question.
Are you okay?
3 words that could make or break her.
Do you see the tears in her eyes?
Or did she sell you the 'yeah I'm great!' line?
You wanna know why she did that?
Cause she thinks you don't care enough to listen.
And you probably don't.

Do You Really Wanna Know What Depression Looks Like?
Watch that girl.
Watch how that toothy smile falls when everyone looks away.
Watch how her mind wonders when no ones listening.
Listen to the conversations.
She didn't say much did she.
Or did she say too much?
Is she tired?
Does she yawn a lot?
It's cause her mind never stops.
Those cogs in her head never stop turning.

She's thinking about everything.
Everything wrong with her.
Her height.
Her weight.
That double chin she inherited.
The red bumps on her shoulders.
The mousey brown hair she hates.
Her deep voice she tries to hide by highing her pitch.
The manly, torn up hands and legs she desperately wishes weren't hers.

Everything stresses her out.
Everything makes her sad.
She's sad.
She doesn't want to hear it'll be okay.
She's even told people that.
They just get mad.
"You just make everything harder."
"You just stress over nothing."
"Your worry is stupid."
The worst one is:
"Everything will all work out."

She's so tired, that when she sleeps she doesn't remember sleeping.
She does nothing, for herself.
She hurts.
She wishes the pain was physical and not mental.
At least that wouldn't last as long.

That's depression.