Little Me (Jade Thirwall Fan-Fiction)

Therapy... You were never a mate Chapter 2

You know that moment you ran for your life. It could have been from the creepy man you saw at the store or a family member or even yourself. For me it was Him. He was catching up and I didn’t want this to be my final breath, because no matter what I say I still would rather live then be a lifeless Skelton six feet deep. But like most dreams, you have to face the music and like any other cliché dream, you trip! Over an imaginary stone and that’s when you’re at your weakest. Normal people would get up and run for their lives but I didn’t. And then this man would end up face to face with me, The man in the Army suit. After eye contact, the whole nightmare repeated over and over. Never did I ever have any other dream as a child.

Right now this dream reminded me off attention. A man in an Army suit chasing a teenage girl? What is the whole point of it? The whole situation screeched attention in some twisted way. And the thought of me being the centre of attention on something big was truly not appealing and who would believe it anyway? It sounds crazy anyway. In factI shouldn’t believe it either. So as quick as my love for skittles died, I blocked out every thought of the previous week.

And then a mood swing kicked in and my instant thoughts drove to school. Last night before I went off to Bedfordshire I had a realisation where I saw Carmen and her “minions”.  School! It was a bit obvious and it made me feel stupid that I couldn’t pin point where I had previously seen them before. I may have been totally oblivious to the people around me but I just couldn’t be bothered to give them the time of day.  Plus they were in the year below so I hadn’t given much attention to anyone other than the Year 11’s.

The great thing about High School is currently the fact that it’s my last year and my school doesn’t have a sixth form so I’ll be outta here as soon as we receive our study leave so nightmare soon to be over, right? But that’s just one chapter complete and another begins which is also known as Sixth Form. I’m hoping I don’t fail my GCSE’s and have to remain in another shit whole. I’ll hopefully get into a great Sixth Form.

***

I was walking through the Teachers car park area when the voice off a familiar woman spoke “Jade! I haven’t seen you come into my office for quite some while now. You’ve only visited once voluntarily and the other two times I had you called down”. Mrs Perish called out from beside me.

Mrs Perish also known as the School counselor. Don’t get me wrong but she’s great at her job yet I don’t feel comfortable walking into her office and “talking” to her every time I felt down. And the one time I came voluntarily was because she had asked for me to come down the very next day after I was considered as a messed up teenager.

Okay so maybe I wasn’t considered as a messed up teenager but it surely felt like that. Putting me into therapy sessions wasn’t an act of kindness, it was because I was messed up and they thought I needed help but I smiled threw those sessions and acted like nothing bothered me and soon enough they declared that I was clear of a Mental Illness.

“Hey! Jade, are you listening to me. Can you please stop walking so I can have a word” She carried on and yet again I acted if I had not heard anything and I kept walking as if she was invisible to my eyes. It’s not that I was trying to be rude or anything, I simply did not want to answer to her as I already had a quite mood today so I was really not even in the slightest bit interested in actually answering her.

“When a teacher is talking to you then you should look up, turn around and answer them!” The deputy head teacher spoke up. It felt like a typical cliché moment when someone pops out of nowhere and then comes the miniature heart attack and for me this is the perfect moment that anxiety kicks in.

“Thanks Johnathan, I can take it from here” So that’s what his name was, Johnathan. It doesn’t suit him as he’s known as the strictest teacher and I just simply don’t see it. And with that he walked off leaving me feeling a lot more awkward with everything.

“How’s the counselling?”

“They’ve got me out of it. I’m perfectly fine, they say. I feel good as ever, it’s like I’m new person. Thank you for all your help but I don’t need it anymore!” Lies I tell you, absolute crap. I knew that I had to fake a smile and act like everything was okay because I knew that was the only way they would leave me alone and I could be myself- A fucked up teenager with no real family. They genuinely thought I was willing enough to receive the help and thought I was okay by the end of it which I wasn’t, I knew I needed the help but I absolutely resented against it.

“Okay. Well that’s brilliant news. Put a smile on your face, you made it through!,” She paused “I guess I’ll leave you to yourself now”

That was fairly quick and easy. Years of lying and you become a natural and a very good one at that. Not that I’m saying we should lie all the time as lying is what causes us humans the most pain but then again we sometimes must hear a lie to at the same feel better about the situation. In many cases I would much rather be lied to then ever face the brutal reality.

Lifting my side bag up once again and pretending to be interested at a Doctor Who book in my hand which I’m going to be honest; Matt Smith with a Cyber man is a great image to see whilst walking to the gateway of hell on Earth for nearly ¾ of the teenage population.

**

The day went by as usual, disruptive teenagers acting well disruptive. The poplars’ acting all nice with one another but I highly doubt anyone them had a single real friend whom they trusted with their life, I feel quite sad for them. So basically just like any other day in school.

Everything went as normal but there was one difference that I noticed, it’s not something really that huge but a girl this mourning had tried to interact me in a very long conversation with herself and she had no wrong intentions , the last time someone tried talking to me like she did, the girl tried to harass me. I don’t actually know how to explain why this time was so different to the last time, she was speaking as if she knew me personally a long time ago which I had no idea who she was, I didn’t even know she went to this school let alone knowing her!

I decided not to think much about it. For all I know she was faking it and so I carried on to my “home sweet home”.

So I was going to write a lot more but I have been sitting at bedroom for two days straight trying to think about where to go from here and then my Laptop's screan is falling apart so insted of it shutting down any moment again and that resulting in loosing my work I decided to quickly upload what I came up with.

Blimey it's been two months since I said I'd type this up and I've been distracted with School and since it's the holidays I had more time to try finishing this where as usually I'd only have half an hour before I would get distracted.

The title of this is probably a little random but it has got to do with the song to the side so check that out since it's my favourite band.

I found something hilarious on Yahoo that I have to share: So I saw a question which most people hated against the asker but one person answered which had me in cackles, a simple five letter word.

What is the name of that disorder Justin Bieber has that made him so unnaturally short?

 Answer : Karma

This is dedicated to @My_Perfect_Mistake for that quite interessting chat on the previous Chapter and for being a great writer herself.

~Megan