Sorting Through Life's Puzzle Pieces

Chapter 30

                All the guests had gone. The house was silent. Even the dishwasher had finished running, and all was peaceful. Had you been looking for anyone, the floors wouldn't have even creaked. Tom always did like it when it was so silent you could hear your own soul. He and Maeve had been in the small solarium for a few hours now. Watching life outside the windows, the air filled with the scents of flowers and earth, glittering fairy lights peeking out of a few.

"You seem to be taking this better now that the initial anger has worn off, Angel. What's on your mind?" He raised his cup to his lips taking a long sip of the warm tea she had made.

"Why did you let me go this long thinking I was housesitting for a living?"

"Out of the mouths of babes, Ben was right." She looked at him quizzically. "He said Carlton can't keep a secret and he was right." She chuckled a bit as he took a deep breath, releasing it on a sigh. "It felt wrong to not make sure you were safe. You told me you were looking for a job and I couldn't fathom not knowing where you were, who you were around, where you were going to have to travel to for things. I wanted to make sure you were taken care of. It seemed like a good solution."

"Believe me, I was screaming on the inside as soon as that little cherub told me. I do know any other effort at anger now will be wasted. You always have good intentions, but did it ever occur to you to just ask me directly."

"The way you were, would you have accepted the position?" He gave her a pointed look.

"Probably not. You make a good point." She took another swallow of her coffee and continued to think. After a few more minutes she spoke.

"Shakespeare, you do know I can take care of myself. You really don't need to worry about me."

"On the contrary, darling. I know I don't need to worry about what you do with yourself when I'm not here. I know you won't be waiting at the door, pining for me to get home so you have something to do with your time. I love that you don't need me to give your life purpose and I will never ever ask you to give that part of yourself up. I do know that you are reckless with yourself. I don't know if it is survivors guilt, still, or if you just don't care anymore."

"I am not." He turned to see her frowning at him.

"You tried to charm a fucking snake, Mae! Then not six months later, you ended up in the hospital from caring for homeless people so much you caught pneumonia." He reached across her and his palm pulled her face towards him. His azure eyes boring into her chocolate ones. "You're not invincible, Angel. I can't be gone and not know that you are somewhere safe and warm and where I will always be able to come back to you." She pushed him away and stood up, turning to look at him directly.

"I know I'm not!" God help us if we wake the neighbors. He thought, I guess we're yelling now. " I've always known how very mortal I am. Dammit, Thomas, I had to bury my own children! How can you say that I don't understand how close death always is? Why do you care so fucking much?"

"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!" Never had he been so loud, not even on stage. She gasped and started shaking her head.

"what," she barely whispered the question. Her head started shaking along with her hands, "no no no, you don't mean it. I know you think you do; you don't mean it. You don't someone as damaged as me, so full of cracks and holes covered in patches and pieces that didn't go back together just right. Like a box of discarded puzzle pieces that the world tried to make into a single picture." She was hugging herself tears starting to fall. He quickly pulled her to him, holding her tight, her sobs filling the air.