The story of my life

A rocky road ahead

I'm lilly and i was born April 7, 2008. i have a bad case of depression. Yes, i'm young to be going through depression but I can't really choose when i get depression.  (Also if you don't want to do math i'm 11)

  I have an older his name is Landon. We both have the same dads but i cant say the same for my sister. You see, my mom had another husband way before i was born. My mom had her 30 years ago! Then we have landon again, He is never home but i don't care. He's turned 17 in September. Oh i forgot about the whole dad thing! yeah its simple me and my sister just have diffrent dads. My dad's name is brain and he works two jobs to help our family to have extra money for diffrent things. My mom never really had a job until recently. So i'm always home alone. 

-my mom-

i love and hate my mom even though she hates me i still love her. My mom is at least going to the trouble with doctor visits, medication, and tharipists. But no matter what condition im in she always has enough heart to yell and scream at me. My mom is trying her best but she could do it more calmly.

-my dad-

My dad was never really there for me. He would somtimes do nice things like take me to breakfast in the summer. But exept that my dad was never really around he was always working. But when i was a kid my dad always smiled and now hes so cold. All he dose is drink and work.

-my brother-

My brother and i hate each other every thing i do he will yell at me about. He always reminds me on how i should have never been born. I remember he walked in on me cutting myself. He sat there and watched me do it and then said "i wont tell anyone but give me my knife back now!"

-my sister-  My sister loves me, but shes grown out of me and all she cares about is her friends. That makes me sad beacause she has no idea how happy she makes me. 

-my "friend" willow

Willow has been there for me for about 2 years now. But she left me and she used me to make herself feel better while breaking me down piece  by piece. plus she is a bully to most of the kids but  i dont know how to stand up for myself so i take it. 

1 cut, 5 cuts, 10 cuts, 25 cuts, 37 cuts. As I finish my weekly cutting I throw on a hoodie and get to school. I know I have told willow I wouldn't cut but fuck her.

As I hear my nanna pull up in the drive way to take me to school I pick up my bag and step outside closing the door behind me.  

"Your mom said you might need help carrying stuff but I guess you got it." My nanna jokingly laughs. I fake smile to her and sit down. As we drive to school for the next 15 minutes Nanna talks about  my literature club I run and so on. As we reach the small school I step out of the car and walk in the school.