The Assassin | Dreamcatcher

Chapter 17

Her name was Handong.

That was a new fact her memory had brought to her conscious mind.

Pain begins to find her unconscious mind, searing shards of pain that push through her body and force her awake when she can't stand the pain any longer.

Siyeon wakes with bleary eyes and she takes in the view of the ceiling that tells her she's in a hospital.

"You're awake." Dami says from her bedside and stands to look down at her.

Siyeon looks down at herself silently, observing the thick, white bandages wrapping around sections of her body. Wherever the bandages were, the skin below stung. "What happened?"

"You were found unconscious in the flat by a neighbour. Apparently the fire started in the carpet and you were slumped at the table. You were lucky they were brave enough to get through the flames to you. You've got a lot of burns, but they're relatively minor, in that they're healing well. The doctor is most concerned about smoke inhalation."

"Oh." Is all she can say, knowing exactly why the fire started. "...Well, thanks to the neighbour."

"You started the fire, didn't you?" Dami questions as she sits again, her eyes staring through Siyeon so hard that she can't make herself lie.

"I didn't mean to. I could have put it out, but I had a...relapse."

"To the fire?" Her eyebrows furrow in concern.

"Yeah. There was something I saw that I've never remembered before. What the killer looked like and her name."

"You never remembered before?"

Siyeon shakes her head. "No. Her name was Handong, wasn't it?"

"That's right." She replies cautiously.

"Do you know where she is?"

"Not at all." She replies instantly with a shrug.

Her eyes narrow, but she can't keep up the gaze as pain attacks her again and she winces.

"I want you to take some time off." Dami changes topic gently.

"Off training SuA?"

"Off anything to do with the company. Focus on getting better and then attending school."

"What about after I heal?" She demands, knowing the answer already through Dami's eyes.

"I still want you to take time off. If this is your first ever relapse and it had this serious a consequence...it's not good. Let your mental health heal."

Siyeon pouts as tears threaten to fall and she hangs her head. "Fine." She knows it's hopeless to argue and accepts without fighting.

***

It is school as usual when her burns have healed much more and she is discharged from hospital. They still regularly itch and she struggles with the desire to scratch them raw.

When Siyeon turns up in class, early, Yoohyeon's head flies around to see her, eyes full of teary worry. She stands and hugs her tightly. "I heard about the fire." She mumbles into her shoulder as if their argument hasn't changed anything. "How are you?"

"The burns still hurt a little." Siyeon pulls back and looks at her. "Can, can we talk at break?"

"Of course." She accepts graciously.

***

"I owe an apology." Siyeon starts once they are both comfortable on the roof. She hasn't brought any cigarettes to school, planning to break the habit, the desire brought on by the fire.

"For our argument?"

"Yeah. I'm really sorry I got angry at you. There wasn't any need for it...because I was denying myself and my feelings. I still need time to think it out, but...I think you're right. And, I'm sorry for smashing the vase."

"That's fine." Yoohyeon smiles awkwardly. "I understand completely why you went off like that. It's okay. You did me a favour, smashing that ugly vase. It was a gift from Mum I wasn't allowed to get rid of, but you smashing it gave me an excuse." She laughs and that breaks the tension.

"Oh, really?" Siyeon laughs too, but the smile quickly disappears.

"What's wrong?" Yoohyeon immediately notices and puts a hand on Siyeon's knee.

"I just...well, that fire was only caused because I had a relapse to a traumatic childhood memory and passed out."

"Oh my god!" She embraces her without hesitation. "Do you want to talk about it? I'm not forcing you, but perhaps it will make you feel better."

"I'll talk about it." Siyeon huffs out a tight breath as the urge to cry overwhelms her again. A few tears and sobs snake their way out of her as Yoohyeon continues to hold her. "When I was thirteen, my parents were murdered and the house was set on fire."

"Murdered?" She starts in shock.

Siyeon understands her surprise, because she's never told the story to anyone before, but she doesn't know why she never did. But when she thinks about it, Siyeon knows it was because she never wanted to remember it again and bury it beneath it the surface where it could only linger. The recent fire only allowed it a pathway to resurface and attack her.

"They were killed by an assassin. I saw my Dad being shot. Mum was already dead."

"And they didn't kill you?"

Siyeon shakes her head. "She just...talked to me then ran away." Her mouth struggles with talking about the next part, knowing how ridiculous it would sound.

And she would be breaking Dami's number one rule - Never tell anyone you're an assassin.

"I went into the garden and someone was there. She said she worked with my parents and would protect me."

"Right."

"And now I do what my parents did when they were alive."

"You said before that they were accountants."

"That was a lie I had also been made to believe. They were actually, er, well...assassins."

"...Assassins." She repeats without strong emotion, as if tasting the word.

"I'm an assassin!" She fires out and puts her head in her hands, nervously chewing her lips as she tortures herself with what Yoohyeon could say.

"You are?" Frustratingly, she can't tell what she's thinking.

"I am. I kill people for money. Just like the person who killed my parents."

Yoohyeon continues to embrace her. "Were you forced into it?"

"No. I wanted to do it because...I think because my parents did it. I wanted to proudly carry on in their shoes. And I guess...it's a little fun." She realises how psychopathic it sounds and quickly tries to correct herself. "Er, I mean, but because it's helped me become physically fit and mentally fit in the way I have to plan missions, etcetera."

Yoohyeon pulls out of the embrace and stares at her. "I can understand that. I guess I always wondered where those rock-hard abs came from." Her smile returns.

Siyeon chuckles and rubs her sweating neck.

"Do you feel better after talking about it?" She broaches gently.

"Kinda. I guess it's made me realise that I can't suppress the memory of the fire. I can only accept that that part of my life exists and that it's shaped me to be who I am. It'll still be hard to think about it though."

"Of course. The pain will probably never leave." Yoohyeon seems wise beyond years and Siyeon understands that the reason is having to take on the role of taking care of herself, living with a mum that was self-absorbed and unable to care for her daughter.

A/N:
I can't think of anything to say now in my author's notes now lol. I just feel drained by college and I'm doing my mock exams soon blergh...I don't  want to do anything anymore haha

Hope you all have a good day!